One of my favorite things about moving to a new area is meeting new people, neighbors and friends.
Of course when you're meeting these folks, the interview process always begins... where are you from; why did you move here; what do you do; and, then the question always arises... do you have any children.
Depending on my mood, I'll answer one of two ways: "not yet" or "we're currently in the process of adoption." If I answer the latter, then one of two directions will always ensue, either questions like... from where? boy or girl? how old will they be? how long until you get your child?; or, they'll begin a story about a friend or acquaintance they knew that adopted.
Toward the end of the conversation something always happens that typically irritates the living crap out of me. Folks always go down the road of... that's a noble thing you do; or, I've always respected adoptive parents.
I'm not 100% sure why that always irritates me, but I think it probably has something to do with how selfish we, adoptive parents, are. I mean... we're the ones that want a child; we're the ones that are taking the child out of their own habitat; we're the ones that are fulfilling our dream.
In fact, it's the children that are the brave. I just can't imagine being forcibly removed from the only life I've ever known. These children are the ones that are leaving the only country, culture, smells, etc... all by force. All because of selfishness.
I suppose one could say that we will be providing a better life for the children. I get that. I've heard and read stories about adoptive parents in China receiving their children and the public will walk up and pinch the baby's nose and say "lucky baby, lucky baby." I guess I just hope they respect their Chinese heritage and culture as well as their American heritage and culture. I don't ever want our child to be insensitive to China nor its way-of-life.
For those of you in the adoption community, you've probably guessed that I'm in the middle of reading a wonderful book titled "China Ghosts." It's written by Jeff Gammage, an adoptive father of two Chinese girls; and it is written from the father's point-of-view. This book shares the exact feelings I have about this entire parental process... from not wanting children, originally, to falling in love with a child I've never met nor seen to something I have yet to experience.
I'm finding myself wanting to share this book with everyone that asks questions about this process. It's that good; and, I'm only half-way through it.
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We don't know any more news about the wait; other than the latest rumors, which seem to include 12/22/06 LIDs.
We are meeting with our post-placement caseworker on Tuesday to get the ball rolling on moving our file from the Chicago USCIS (United State Citizenship and Immigration Services) to Detroits. This typically takes about two months to complete. We've heard that the Detroit office is the worst in the country to move a file to/from. We're holding out for a positive experience.
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Jennifer had two of her wisdom teeth pulled last Thursday. She's doing surprisingly well.
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We're sick of the snow!
2 comments:
We received thumbs up in China, but sadly there were several people that were not happy and made it known. I wasn't prepared for that, but not all Chinese are happy Americans are adopting from China.....I did meet some wonderful families however that wanted to take pictures with us, it was nice...
Hey, thanks for visiting my blog! I can so relate to this post. Sometimes I'll just tell people we're adopting, but not from where. It seems that I get a lot more "You're such a good person" comments when I mention we're adopting internationally than when they think we're doing it domestically. Sometimes I just don't have the energy for all the explaining! Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by to say hi!
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