"China Ghosts"

One of my favorite things about moving to a new area is meeting new people, neighbors and friends.

Of course when you're meeting these folks, the interview process always begins... where are you from; why did you move here; what do you do; and, then the question always arises... do you have any children.

Depending on my mood, I'll answer one of two ways: "not yet" or "we're currently in the process of adoption." If I answer the latter, then one of two directions will always ensue, either questions like... from where? boy or girl? how old will they be? how long until you get your child?; or, they'll begin a story about a friend or acquaintance they knew that adopted.

Toward the end of the conversation something always happens that typically irritates the living crap out of me. Folks always go down the road of... that's a noble thing you do; or, I've always respected adoptive parents.

I'm not 100% sure why that always irritates me, but I think it probably has something to do with how selfish we, adoptive parents, are. I mean... we're the ones that want a child; we're the ones that are taking the child out of their own habitat; we're the ones that are fulfilling our dream.

In fact, it's the children that are the brave. I just can't imagine being forcibly removed from the only life I've ever known. These children are the ones that are leaving the only country, culture, smells, etc... all by force. All because of selfishness.

I suppose one could say that we will be providing a better life for the children. I get that. I've heard and read stories about adoptive parents in China receiving their children and the public will walk up and pinch the baby's nose and say "lucky baby, lucky baby." I guess I just hope they respect their Chinese heritage and culture as well as their American heritage and culture. I don't ever want our child to be insensitive to China nor its way-of-life.

For those of you in the adoption community, you've probably guessed that I'm in the middle of reading a wonderful book titled "China Ghosts." It's written by Jeff Gammage, an adoptive father of two Chinese girls; and it is written from the father's point-of-view. This book shares the exact feelings I have about this entire parental process... from not wanting children, originally, to falling in love with a child I've never met nor seen to something I have yet to experience.

I'm finding myself wanting to share this book with everyone that asks questions about this process. It's that good; and, I'm only half-way through it.

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We don't know any more news about the wait; other than the latest rumors, which seem to include 12/22/06 LIDs.

We are meeting with our post-placement caseworker on Tuesday to get the ball rolling on moving our file from the Chicago USCIS (United State Citizenship and Immigration Services) to Detroits. This typically takes about two months to complete. We've heard that the Detroit office is the worst in the country to move a file to/from. We're holding out for a positive experience.

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Jennifer had two of her wisdom teeth pulled last Thursday. She's doing surprisingly well.

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We're sick of the snow!

Happy Christmas...

At this time every year, we sit back and reflect upon the previous year.

It seems that this has been a busy one for both of us....

• In December 2006, Jenn's father moved to Rockford with us.
• In January, Jenn started a new job with the Deluxe Johnson Group.
• In February, we were still thinking we would receive our referral in 2007.
• In April, we celebrated our one year anniversary of our LID.
• In April, our kitchen remodeling was finally completed.
• In May, the Rockford Register Star sold to GateHouse Media.
• In June, we put the house on the market and Kevin saw Gwen Stefani in concert.
• In June, we celebrated being out of review and realized we would not get our referral this year.
• In June, Jenn celebrated her 37th birthday.
• In June, Kevin started a new job in Lansing, MI
• In July, Kevin went to BolognaFest in Yale, MI and truly became a Michigander.
• July and August were a blur.
• In September, Jenn's father went into the hospital and we realized then that he needed more care than we could provide.
• In September we received the only offer on our Rockford property in a rapidly declining housing market. WOO HOO
• In October, Jenn's dad made his permanent residence in a nursing home in Chicago.
• In October, we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary... apart.
• In October, the movers packed up our house.
• In November, we closed on the Rockford property and on our new home in DeWitt, MI.
• In November, we went to the MSU vs. UM football game. Our first sporting event as Michiganders.
• In December, we went to the MSU vs. NC State basketball game. Our second sporting event as Michiganders. NOTE: Kevin has been to more sports games this year than in the previous 10 years.
• In December, Kevin celebrated his 36th birthday.

December is nearly gone and we're exhausted! It has been a roller-coaster of a ride this past year and that was just with Jennifer. No, seriously, it has been a hard year and one we are glad is nearly gone.

Today, on this Christmas Eve, we realize it's our 20 month anniversary of our LID. We both feel blessed; however, it is hard to go through these holidays without our child. We know there will be a happy ending, but getting to that point is not always clear, easy, or fun. It is hard to even guess when our referral will come to us. Some think it will be in the fall; some think it will be next winter; and, yet, some think it will be in the spring of 2009. We're, obviously, hoping for 2008. Our goal was to travel before the Olympics (8/8/08) and now, we will travel after.

The next steps for us in the adoption process is to meet with a local agency in Michigan. We have decided to partner with Adoption Advocates of, get this, Rockford, MI. They will be our post-placement agency; however, Lifelink will remain our placing agency. We have already made contact and will get the ball rolling after the holidays.

We are in love with our new home, here in Michigan. Here is a link to view the pictures. Mom, Larry, call me when you can't figure it out.

Here's wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and safe New Year.

Love,
Kevin & Jennifer

Greetings from DeWitt, MI

After four days, we are settled in our new home, sort of. We have unpacked all of the boxes and need to hang pictures, photos, etc. That's it. Then we're done! So far, we love the house. As soon as the rooms are set, we'll take photos and upload them onto the blog.

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Our hearts go out to the Sheldon family. If you haven't heard, Sandi and Dennis went to China to meet their daughter, Hannah, and bring her home. While in China, Dennis passed away due to diabetes. It just so happens that we know the Sheldons as they are/were part of the waiting families group here in Lansing. For more on the story, click here.

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The latest round of matches took us through December 8, 2005. Our LID is April 24, 2006. Eight days is the most we've seen since March 5, 2007. So, hopefully, we'll see an increase in referrals over the next few months.

On the not-so-encouraging news, our adoption agency, Lifelink, met with CCAA directors and they said that China has opened up the purse strings on the one-child policy in the rural areas. Which means there are fewer children that are abandoned. They also said there is an increase in domestic adoptions within China. The China officials did not indicate there would be a speed up any time soon.

Sparty on...

We officially closed on our Rockford, IL property at 10:30 a.m. Friday, November 2.

WOO HOO!

Jenn permanently joined me in Lansing as of 11 p.m. that evening.

On Saturday we went to the MSU vs. UM game at Spartan Stadium. We tailgated beginning at 11 a.m. and the game started at 3:30 p.m. It was a good time. We had pretty good seats, 13 rows from the field on the MSU end zone. Even though the Spartans lost, it was a pretty cool experience. Check out the photo gallery on greenandwhite.com.

Today we spent the day shopping for furniture for our new house... to no avail. We close in 10 days. We can't wait to get out of our apartment. The Cooley Law students screaming in the hallway at 2 a.m. is getting old! Or are we getting old?

That's it from Michigan. The weather is brisk but beautiful.

October is a time of change and anniversaries...

This weekend was bittersweet. It was my last trip to Rockford... to help pack up the house and to say goodbye. We've lived and worked in Rockford for three years; made a lot of great friends; and really fell in love with the community. While we are excited about the next phase of our life, it's difficult to leave the routine we've had.

This past week, Jennifer and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary (October 15th). Hard to believe we've been married for 13 years. We've moved seven times. This latest move will be the eighth. Holy crap! We've resigned ourselves to the fact that we are getting too old to be doing this again!!!

Here's our schedule:
October 30: the movers pack up our Rockford house
October 31: the movers load the truck
November 2: close on the Rockford home
November 2: Jenn moves to Lansing
November 14: close on our home in DeWitt, MI
November 15: movers deliver our furniture
November 16: movers unpack our boxes

Yes, we have found a home in DeWitt, MI. Here's a picture of the outside:














On Wednesday, October 24, we celebrate (???) our 18 month anniversary of our LID (April 24, 2006). The wait is still growing; however, November 2005 LIDs are DONE! This is, hopefully, a positive sign. We have read that there were an astronomical number of dossiers in November 2005. This is all rumor, but December, January, and February are much smaller than what November was. The next highest month is March 2006 -- of course, as we are April 24, 2006.

Here's hoping to a speed-up in referrals, a safe move and a good start to our life in Michigan!!!