Happy 14th Anniversary!

On Wednesday, we celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe we've been married for 14 years!

On Friday, we went up north and spent the weekend in Traverse City, MI. Here is the view from our hotel...















On Saturday morning, we went to the end of the Mission Peninsula. Here is the view from the Lighthouse...















After leaving the lighthouse, we stopped off to get a view of the colors and vineyards... Here's happy Jenn...















After Mission Peninsula, we spent time between many different towns... Elk Rapids, Charlevoix and Petoskey. Here is the view from Petoskey...















On Sunday morning, we woke up early and ate at the Omelette Shoppe & Bakery in Traverse City. OUTSTANDING!!! Then left there and drove to northwestern Michigan around Crystal Lake and sat on the beach of Lake Michigan and saw the Point Betsie Lighthouse...






























After leaving there, we drove the remainder of the way home... through Manistee and Ludington. While those two towns were not as fun as the TC area, the drive was absolutely beautiful...















We had a lot of fun!

Enjoy the shots...

Hillary in Michigan...

Here she is, waving to me!

Growing numb...

They say blogging is most effective when you do it regularly. It's our policy at the newspaper that bloggers post two-to-three times per week to make it effective. Interestingly enough, we don't follow the guidelines that are set in place at work for this blog.

So the question is... why?

Perhaps it's a lack of time.
Perhaps it's the fact that we don't have anything to say.
Perhaps it's hard to focus on something that we have absolutely no control over so we avoid it.

I s'pose the latter is the most appropriate. After all who wants to think about something that you want but can't have until your time is up... without any control... no opportunity for persuasion... absolutely no way of tipping your waiter to get a better table. You get my point.

Well, today is our 28th month anniversary to our LID. I know it's stupid that we know these things... but we count things... our ages... our years together... the gasoline prices... the number of hours we work... our stock prices... so it's no surprise that we count our adoption anniversary.

Of course, I can't sit here and say that nothing has happened over the past four months.

My parents and I drove to Springfield, MO to visit my brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew...

Jenn's brother and his two boys came to visit us...

And, of course, spent time with friends and hung around the state of Michigan.

The most disturbing thing that's happened is that our immigration file is missing. Yes... MISSING! Since we left the state of Illinois and moved to the state of Michigan, we had to have our file transferred. Makes sense. Well, when our fingerprints expired toward the end of June and we never received an invitation from the state of Michigan to get them redone... we started asking questions. Ended up getting Congressman Rogers' office involved... then got Senator Stabenow's office involved. Both from Michigan.

The purpose was to open an investigation for the Detroit office to audit all files in hopes of finding ours. The final determination that our file is not in Detroit came down last week. Letrice Bonner, the Congressional liaison specialist with the Department of Homeland Security writes: "... informed me once again that he does not have their file which was supposedly transferred from Chicago." She goes on to say, "if they like, they could just send copies of the original submission with an updated home study and a receipt notice and he can adjudicate the case then."

Isn't that just wonderful news? We can merely send copies to the Detroit office and not worry anymore.

Well, I don't know about you but I really am not thrilled with the fact that copies of our birth certificates, marriage license, tax returns from the previous year, and our original home study is MISSING!

Do I have a right to be irritated? Or should I be thrilled that we can just send copies of these documents to Detroit and have a complete file for immigration which falls under homeland security?

Obviously, we're making the copies... but what about our personal information just floating around... lost. In this age of identify theft... all we need to do is make copies... no worries. "We'll get your file all set up, Mr. McFatridge."

We have contacted Congressman Manzullo's office in Illinois to investigate if Chicago immigration actually did send our file to Detroit. Still awaiting results on that one.

Our caseworker in Illinois said that they just slap a first-class stamp on these files and take them to the post office. NO TRACKING NUMBER. NO CERTIFIED MAIL. NO SIGNATURE UPON RECEIPT. NO NOTHING. Perhaps it's our fault. We should have asked. Or, we should have just gone to Chicago and picked up the file ourselves? I don't know. Hindsight is always 20/20. But we're in yet another predicament. OH wait, did I mention that we couldn't pick up our own file because we could "alter the information." Hmmm... what's happening now? We could alter the information.

They say that adoption is very stressful and a lot of people drop out or just can't take the bureaucracy. We really have been more frustrated with the steps taken rather than the stress or bureaucracy of the whole thing. But this last part has really taken it's toll on us. Both of us.

Our friends are telling us... it's worth the wait. Or, you'll get through it. Or, whatever... Well, let me tell you... it's not helping. It's taking us to a whole new place right now. One of numbness. And, that's not good.

The two couples we started this whole journey with, both now have their second child. One is from Korea... one is special needs from China. Both are absolutely gorgeous. But I'd be lying to you right now if it I said it didn't hurt. But what can we do?

So... we continue to move forward with our lives. We eat, sleep, work and have fun. That's all we can do, I guess. Just knowing you're all there for us is enough. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers to help us through this difficult time.

We are thankful for each other, our health and, of course, our friends and family.

One piece of sweet news is that our friends' sister sent us a beautiful quilt... out of the blue... we LOVE HER!





























Peace!

Two years ago today...

We got in a line for adoption with China. That line at the time was expected to be six to eight months long. The line a year ago was updated to be 17 months long. Today that line is 27 months long and growing with each passing month.

One year ago today this is what we knew
1. We had no idea when we would get our referral
2. We had no idea when we would travel (see number one)
3. The name
4. Anticipating our first Christmas as a family
5. We would see the Talleckson's and Ventura's with their daughters
6. Katelyn Ventura is a ham
7. We were in the chat rooms thanks to Mellissa and we were angry
8. We attended a parent training class
9. The wait was getting tremendously longer and we were getting angry
10. The Talleckson's brought Sofia home and she is a sweet little girl

This is what we know today
1. Referral and travel dates are still a mystery
2. We are part of a Lansing area waiting families group, one of the couples in our group should be receiving a referral with the next batch, they missed the cut-off by one day, so they are definitely next.
3. The name
4. Christmas as a family of three seems far far away
5. We see the Talleckson's and Ventura's every now and then with the girls. The Ventura's are adding a second daughter to their family this spring. They are adopting a special needs child from China. Vince will be heading to China again to meet their daughter and bring her home.
6. Our file is somewhere between Chicago and Detroit, we hope.
7. We will have to be fingerprinted for the third time this summer for the Department of Homeland Security because, you know, they change...WHATEVER!
8. As of today, there are 104 days ahead of us in line.
9. Our placing agency received referrals last month for 4 families, three of the four were referred a boy...which gives us something new to think about.
10. We are the only home on our block that does not have a child.

Some things that we have done or have happened in the past year:
We finished remodeling our Rockford home, only to put it on the market 60 days later
We lived in separate states for 5 months
We have celebrated 13 years of marriage
We have sold our home in Rockford (one of the lucky ones)
We bought a home in DeWitt, (the land of plenty, wanting for more)
We shoveled our way out of a long Michigan winter (we hope its true that this was unusual)
Attended two MSU games, one football, one basketball.
Attended theatre performances at MSU
Attended the East Lansing Film Festival
Jenn was promoted to Accounting Manager and is supervising people from home
Jenn is taking golf lessons
Kevin has been working a lot, getting things situated

Not much else has been happening, which is why we haven't been updating this site as often as we were in the past.

We can't believe it has been two years already. With an average of 7 days of referrals each month, we can only expect to wait another 14 months from now for referral. We hope it gets better, but it doesn't look promising.

"China Ghosts"

One of my favorite things about moving to a new area is meeting new people, neighbors and friends.

Of course when you're meeting these folks, the interview process always begins... where are you from; why did you move here; what do you do; and, then the question always arises... do you have any children.

Depending on my mood, I'll answer one of two ways: "not yet" or "we're currently in the process of adoption." If I answer the latter, then one of two directions will always ensue, either questions like... from where? boy or girl? how old will they be? how long until you get your child?; or, they'll begin a story about a friend or acquaintance they knew that adopted.

Toward the end of the conversation something always happens that typically irritates the living crap out of me. Folks always go down the road of... that's a noble thing you do; or, I've always respected adoptive parents.

I'm not 100% sure why that always irritates me, but I think it probably has something to do with how selfish we, adoptive parents, are. I mean... we're the ones that want a child; we're the ones that are taking the child out of their own habitat; we're the ones that are fulfilling our dream.

In fact, it's the children that are the brave. I just can't imagine being forcibly removed from the only life I've ever known. These children are the ones that are leaving the only country, culture, smells, etc... all by force. All because of selfishness.

I suppose one could say that we will be providing a better life for the children. I get that. I've heard and read stories about adoptive parents in China receiving their children and the public will walk up and pinch the baby's nose and say "lucky baby, lucky baby." I guess I just hope they respect their Chinese heritage and culture as well as their American heritage and culture. I don't ever want our child to be insensitive to China nor its way-of-life.

For those of you in the adoption community, you've probably guessed that I'm in the middle of reading a wonderful book titled "China Ghosts." It's written by Jeff Gammage, an adoptive father of two Chinese girls; and it is written from the father's point-of-view. This book shares the exact feelings I have about this entire parental process... from not wanting children, originally, to falling in love with a child I've never met nor seen to something I have yet to experience.

I'm finding myself wanting to share this book with everyone that asks questions about this process. It's that good; and, I'm only half-way through it.

*****

We don't know any more news about the wait; other than the latest rumors, which seem to include 12/22/06 LIDs.

We are meeting with our post-placement caseworker on Tuesday to get the ball rolling on moving our file from the Chicago USCIS (United State Citizenship and Immigration Services) to Detroits. This typically takes about two months to complete. We've heard that the Detroit office is the worst in the country to move a file to/from. We're holding out for a positive experience.

*****

Jennifer had two of her wisdom teeth pulled last Thursday. She's doing surprisingly well.

*****

We're sick of the snow!