For those of you who don't know, we've been following Kelly Haramis' column on her - and her husband's - journey to adoption. Her latest story published last Sunday in the Trib and it focused on her referral. She finally knows what her daughter looks like!
Anyway, Jennifer emailed her a letter of congratulations and it published in today's Chicago Trib.
VERY COOL!
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Merry Christmas!
It's hard to believe it's a week before Christmas! Where has the year gone?
We started 2006 in the process of filling out our paperwork and getting fingerprinted for our adpotion process. At that time, we were thinking we would have our child(ren) by now. My how things change.
We realized over the weekend how we haven't done any new updates in regards to adoption -- the original purpose of this blog. We got sidetracked with remodeling our kitchen. So, we wanted to take this opportunity to get back to the heart of our blog.
We're waiting! We're waiting! We're waiting!
We don't really know what else to say.
It's also hard for people who are not going or have not gone through this process to understand the issue with the waiting process.
So we want to try to explain...
It all boils down to one thing: there isn't enough supply to meet the demand. We've been told by our social worker that there are two families for every paperwork-ready child.
We were originally told that our wait would be six-to-seven months from our LID. Now, it's nearing the 15-month mark. We've also read on various blogs that it will approach 18-months from LIDs by Spring/Summer 2007.
In fact, we still haven't been approved by CCAA as they have only gotten through DTCs through January 2006 (we're April).
Our LID is April 24, 2006. At best, we'll get our referral toward the end of June/early July of 2007. At worst, it will be toward the end of October/early November of 2007. Obviously, we're hoping for the summer! We would really like to have our child(ren) home for the holidays. The 2007 holidays, that is.
It's now starting to get hard. The two couples that we met through our waiting families group have both received their daughters this year; and, we're the last of our inner-sanctum. While it's great to see up-close-and-personal how their daughter's have affected their lives positively, we're still pining away for our child(ren).
We're trying to keep a positive outlook. We will get the child(ren) that is(are) meant for us. As a matter of fact, that's one of the greatest [and weirdest] thing we see... how the children are matched perfectly with their parents. It seems as though they have the exact same personality traits as their adoptive parents. The kids haven't even been home or with their adoptive parents for six weeks and they are just the perfect match. It's so cool.
On Christmas Eve, we will have officially waited eight months, which is over the half-way point. And, if you get deeper into the thought process, our child(ren) have probably been born.
Here's hoping she's safe, warm and being well cared for...
We started 2006 in the process of filling out our paperwork and getting fingerprinted for our adpotion process. At that time, we were thinking we would have our child(ren) by now. My how things change.
We realized over the weekend how we haven't done any new updates in regards to adoption -- the original purpose of this blog. We got sidetracked with remodeling our kitchen. So, we wanted to take this opportunity to get back to the heart of our blog.
We're waiting! We're waiting! We're waiting!
We don't really know what else to say.
It's also hard for people who are not going or have not gone through this process to understand the issue with the waiting process.
So we want to try to explain...
It all boils down to one thing: there isn't enough supply to meet the demand. We've been told by our social worker that there are two families for every paperwork-ready child.
We were originally told that our wait would be six-to-seven months from our LID. Now, it's nearing the 15-month mark. We've also read on various blogs that it will approach 18-months from LIDs by Spring/Summer 2007.
In fact, we still haven't been approved by CCAA as they have only gotten through DTCs through January 2006 (we're April).
Our LID is April 24, 2006. At best, we'll get our referral toward the end of June/early July of 2007. At worst, it will be toward the end of October/early November of 2007. Obviously, we're hoping for the summer! We would really like to have our child(ren) home for the holidays. The 2007 holidays, that is.
It's now starting to get hard. The two couples that we met through our waiting families group have both received their daughters this year; and, we're the last of our inner-sanctum. While it's great to see up-close-and-personal how their daughter's have affected their lives positively, we're still pining away for our child(ren).
We're trying to keep a positive outlook. We will get the child(ren) that is(are) meant for us. As a matter of fact, that's one of the greatest [and weirdest] thing we see... how the children are matched perfectly with their parents. It seems as though they have the exact same personality traits as their adoptive parents. The kids haven't even been home or with their adoptive parents for six weeks and they are just the perfect match. It's so cool.
On Christmas Eve, we will have officially waited eight months, which is over the half-way point. And, if you get deeper into the thought process, our child(ren) have probably been born.
Here's hoping she's safe, warm and being well cared for...
Saturday, December 09, 2006
It's done! It's done! We can't believe it's done!
Yes, it's been more than two years in the making and three months of Hell! But, our kitchen is finally completed.
Check out the photos below...
Here is a look at our family room. The only things left to do in here are to convert the fireplace so you can see the arch, replace the ugly blue carpet with the wood laminate that's in the kitchen and hang drapes.
Check out the photos below...
Here is a look at our family room. The only things left to do in here are to convert the fireplace so you can see the arch, replace the ugly blue carpet with the wood laminate that's in the kitchen and hang drapes.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Only nine more days...
and the kitchen project will be done. We think.
We expanded the kitchen project into our family room and spent the past four days painting the family room.
Our family room has cedar paneling that had been painted a stark white. We wanted to warm it up by painting it a tan color. We also had beams that are now painted a deep, dark brown. The room is finally warmed up and looks like a lodge. There are two things left to do to our family room: 1) flooring; 2) fireplace -- convert to gas and purchase a new screen. We've discovered that our fireplace opening is curved and not square; so we would like to enhance that feature.
Below are pictures of both our family room and kitchen. Our countertops, sink and faucet will be installed on Dec. 5. It will be a glorious day in the McFatridge household so that we will get our half bath back to its regular function.
We hope you had a great Thanksgiving.
We expanded the kitchen project into our family room and spent the past four days painting the family room.
Our family room has cedar paneling that had been painted a stark white. We wanted to warm it up by painting it a tan color. We also had beams that are now painted a deep, dark brown. The room is finally warmed up and looks like a lodge. There are two things left to do to our family room: 1) flooring; 2) fireplace -- convert to gas and purchase a new screen. We've discovered that our fireplace opening is curved and not square; so we would like to enhance that feature.
Below are pictures of both our family room and kitchen. Our countertops, sink and faucet will be installed on Dec. 5. It will be a glorious day in the McFatridge household so that we will get our half bath back to its regular function.
We hope you had a great Thanksgiving.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
So close...
Well, our kitchen is nearing completion.
It has been two years in the making. In the Fall of 2004, Kevin Taulman and I began the process when we removed the drop-ceiling the previous owners installed.
I took the first step in becoming a man by purchasing a sawzall from Home Depot. I removed the hanging cabinets over the peninsula and its soffit with my new sawzall.
Then it sat for a year.
We bought lights and went to three different remodeling companies. Finally, we decided on Benson Stone. We worked with Kelly to design our new kitchen -- picked out cabinets and granite.
Hired a contractor.
Bought a faucet.
Hired an electrician.
Hired a second contractor.
Fired our first contractor.
Bought hardware for the doors.
Everything should be completed next week. THANK GOD!
We are so tired of the dust, everything on our dining room tables collecting dust, and cooking only with a microwave -- something my mother has mastered. Did I mention that we have to wash our dishes in the bathroom sink?
That just isn't right.
To view the photos, click HERE to view the slideshow.
It has been two years in the making. In the Fall of 2004, Kevin Taulman and I began the process when we removed the drop-ceiling the previous owners installed.
I took the first step in becoming a man by purchasing a sawzall from Home Depot. I removed the hanging cabinets over the peninsula and its soffit with my new sawzall.
Then it sat for a year.
We bought lights and went to three different remodeling companies. Finally, we decided on Benson Stone. We worked with Kelly to design our new kitchen -- picked out cabinets and granite.
Hired a contractor.
Bought a faucet.
Hired an electrician.
Hired a second contractor.
Fired our first contractor.
Bought hardware for the doors.
Everything should be completed next week. THANK GOD!
We are so tired of the dust, everything on our dining room tables collecting dust, and cooking only with a microwave -- something my mother has mastered. Did I mention that we have to wash our dishes in the bathroom sink?
That just isn't right.
To view the photos, click HERE to view the slideshow.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Keeping you in the loop...
Last weekend, we picked up our 4-n-1 convertible crib we purchased back in July. (I know, it's too early, but we're having fun so leave us alone.) The local company has been holding it for us until we, well, actually Kevin, was ready to bring it home. The idea of purchasing it and bringing it home in the same day gave him some anxiety, so we waited for a while.
This whole process is strange at times. A lot of people become pregnant and have a rough idea of when the bundle of joy will arrive to sleep in the crib. So they can plan accordingly to get the room ready. We, on the other hand, really have no control over the timeframe.
Not that we don't have an idea, if we follow the most recent group of referrals time frame (13-14 months), we should find out who our child is sometime in the early Summer of 2007. But as we have been told... the wait could speed up as it is known for doing... so we could find out earlier.
A little adoption lesson for you... referral's (photo/name/estimated date of birth/basic medical information) come in based on LID (log-in date). We are logged in on 4/24/06. Everyone that has a LID between 8/10/05-8/25/05 was issued their referral on November 2, 2006. It is estimated that these folks who found out about their children this week will travel to China middle to end of December of 2006.
Most of these people have the rooms ready. We are following the timeframe Web sites that we use for information to help determine when we will start the room. As of today, the room will be set up probably in April (a one year anniversary of officially being "paperwork pregnant"). So for now, the box will remain closed and leaning against the wall of the designated room. It will give us something to look forward to doing in the Spring. So for now we will share photos of the boxes in the room. Click here to see what the finish looks like. They actually discontinued our model, which is why we got a deal on it... which is why we purchased it.
Another adoption update for you is that all paperwork has been reviewed for those with LID's through 1/31/06. This is an update we look forward to at the moment as it means they are only three months away from viewing our dossier.
Kevin made his first clothing purchase all on his own. They are brown camo pants that he thought this little one needed to have.
I have made a purchase of a Notre Dame Fighting Irish shirt as I would hope this little one will be an Irish football fan like me, Auntie Monica, Uncle Jeff, Uncle Jason and Papaw Dunn.
Congratulations to the following folks for their referrals...
Our next adventure
Are They All Yours
Our Journey to Madison Mei
San Diego Seigels
Our Daughter
Amy’s Space
Sebago Girl
The Three Miracles
Camille Chronicles
Three’s a Charm
Waiting for Michella
Lindsey’s MeiMei (Music)
Our Journey to Abbey Road
Journey to Emilia
Emily
To Tess & Back
Moon Pies and Moon Cakes
Our Family Journey (Music)
Malia
Caroline on my Mind
Our Journey to Baby Shanahan
Sara
This whole process is strange at times. A lot of people become pregnant and have a rough idea of when the bundle of joy will arrive to sleep in the crib. So they can plan accordingly to get the room ready. We, on the other hand, really have no control over the timeframe.
Not that we don't have an idea, if we follow the most recent group of referrals time frame (13-14 months), we should find out who our child is sometime in the early Summer of 2007. But as we have been told... the wait could speed up as it is known for doing... so we could find out earlier.
A little adoption lesson for you... referral's (photo/name/estimated date of birth/basic medical information) come in based on LID (log-in date). We are logged in on 4/24/06. Everyone that has a LID between 8/10/05-8/25/05 was issued their referral on November 2, 2006. It is estimated that these folks who found out about their children this week will travel to China middle to end of December of 2006.
Most of these people have the rooms ready. We are following the timeframe Web sites that we use for information to help determine when we will start the room. As of today, the room will be set up probably in April (a one year anniversary of officially being "paperwork pregnant"). So for now, the box will remain closed and leaning against the wall of the designated room. It will give us something to look forward to doing in the Spring. So for now we will share photos of the boxes in the room. Click here to see what the finish looks like. They actually discontinued our model, which is why we got a deal on it... which is why we purchased it.
Another adoption update for you is that all paperwork has been reviewed for those with LID's through 1/31/06. This is an update we look forward to at the moment as it means they are only three months away from viewing our dossier.
Kevin made his first clothing purchase all on his own. They are brown camo pants that he thought this little one needed to have.
I have made a purchase of a Notre Dame Fighting Irish shirt as I would hope this little one will be an Irish football fan like me, Auntie Monica, Uncle Jeff, Uncle Jason and Papaw Dunn.
Congratulations to the following folks for their referrals...
Our next adventure
Are They All Yours
Our Journey to Madison Mei
San Diego Seigels
Our Daughter
Amy’s Space
Sebago Girl
The Three Miracles
Camille Chronicles
Three’s a Charm
Waiting for Michella
Lindsey’s MeiMei (Music)
Our Journey to Abbey Road
Journey to Emilia
Emily
To Tess & Back
Moon Pies and Moon Cakes
Our Family Journey (Music)
Malia
Caroline on my Mind
Our Journey to Baby Shanahan
Sara
Monday, October 16, 2006
Anniversary celebration...
We celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary by the demolition of our wall between the kitchen and the family room. Let me tell you, this is a great way to really get your aggression out.
The first photo is of the back of the kitchen where we tore out our final soffit.
The second photo is of the the family room side of the wall where the pocket door is now exposed from the removal of the panelling.
The third photo is with all the panelling off the family room side of the wall.
Here is the wall with the panelling and the drywall off.
And the final two photos are with the framing around the pocket door completely gone. Such a difference.
It's quite amazing not having that wall there any more. It looks so different and really opens up the rooms into one big family area -- just in time for our family!
The electrician has installd three of the four can lights and the two lights over the peninsula. It's pretty cool to have more light in the kitchen. I can't wait to see the difference tomorrow after he finalizes everything.
I've now become the man on the "call a man" list.
The first photo is of the back of the kitchen where we tore out our final soffit.
The second photo is of the the family room side of the wall where the pocket door is now exposed from the removal of the panelling.
The third photo is with all the panelling off the family room side of the wall.
Here is the wall with the panelling and the drywall off.
And the final two photos are with the framing around the pocket door completely gone. Such a difference.
It's quite amazing not having that wall there any more. It looks so different and really opens up the rooms into one big family area -- just in time for our family!
The electrician has installd three of the four can lights and the two lights over the peninsula. It's pretty cool to have more light in the kitchen. I can't wait to see the difference tomorrow after he finalizes everything.
I've now become the man on the "call a man" list.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Gobbledeegook
Yesterday, Jennifer and I went and received our first round of immunizations. We got Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B and Tetanus shots. WHOOPEE!
Needless to say, our arms hurt.
In 30 days we go for our next round of Hepatitis B and then five months from that date, we finish our Hepatitis A and Hepatitis B rounds.
Hopefully by then the wait may have sped up and we may know if we have to go for Typhoid and/or Malaria treatments.
We're still waiting to hear if I have to go for MMR -- mumps, measles and rubella. We've heard that children born in the early '70s didn't get the two shot treatment. I s'pose it's necessary to get the second shot now that we'll be going to China. So, I placed a phone call to my mother to find out who I should call as I knew she wouldn't remember. After a week, I should hear back from my pediatrician's office.
That's the latest adoption update.
The latest on the kitchen: Jenn and I finished tearing down our last soffit Thursday and Friday night -- with NO injuries to report. The electrician showed up yesterday and is finishing today. It's very nice to have more light already and he'll be adding four can lights today. CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT! It will certainly be a bright room once that's done. Next week the contractor comes to give the official start date.
Jenn and I will begin the wall-removal this weekend.
Speaking of this weekend, tomorrow is our 12th wedding anniversary... my how time flies.
That's it for now...
Kev & Jenn
Needless to say, our arms hurt.
In 30 days we go for our next round of Hepatitis B and then five months from that date, we finish our Hepatitis A and Hepatitis B rounds.
Hopefully by then the wait may have sped up and we may know if we have to go for Typhoid and/or Malaria treatments.
We're still waiting to hear if I have to go for MMR -- mumps, measles and rubella. We've heard that children born in the early '70s didn't get the two shot treatment. I s'pose it's necessary to get the second shot now that we'll be going to China. So, I placed a phone call to my mother to find out who I should call as I knew she wouldn't remember. After a week, I should hear back from my pediatrician's office.
That's the latest adoption update.
The latest on the kitchen: Jenn and I finished tearing down our last soffit Thursday and Friday night -- with NO injuries to report. The electrician showed up yesterday and is finishing today. It's very nice to have more light already and he'll be adding four can lights today. CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT! It will certainly be a bright room once that's done. Next week the contractor comes to give the official start date.
Jenn and I will begin the wall-removal this weekend.
Speaking of this weekend, tomorrow is our 12th wedding anniversary... my how time flies.
That's it for now...
Kev & Jenn
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Never laugh at your husband getting hit...
Another weekend of demo on Brigadoon. We are working on this kitchen in segments as we move towards our start date. Our contractor is going to stop by this week to take a look at the conduit we discovered in the soffits and to hopefully reveal our start date. The living with a kitchen that is spread out over 2.5 tables is getting old and I know I have a minimum of eight more weeks of this. 
This weekend we finished removing the last of the upper cabinets and the soffit along the back wall and stove wall. As Kevin was pulling on some of the soffit over the stove, a large piece of it fell down from the ceiling and smacked him across the forehead. I asked if he was ok and he was, but I looked at him and told him that it was going to leave a mark. This made me think to Monday when everyone at work would be inquiring "What happened?" which made me laugh. He of course took it as though I was laughing "AT" him and I wasn't.
Anywho.
As we continued working to clean up as much as possible, we started using wire cutters to cut at the plaster grids along the wall and ceiling. Kevin decided to mow the lawn and left me to continue working with the plaster grids.
I was standing on a step stool in front of the sink and began to pull at some of the grid I had just cut when I lost my balance.
I fell and hit the countertop with the side of my face and chin, I landed on the floor supported by my right knee (the one I had surgery on eight weeks ago). Upon feeling that surge of pain, I ended up somehow having the right side of my head hit the handle on one of the cabinets which led to an immediate cone-shaped knot protruding from my head.
Surprisingly, you can only see a bruise on my knee just above the incision marks and one on my right arm. There are no bruises on my face, yet I have the sensation that someone struck the side of my face with a board and it is very sore. Kevin keeps testing me with questions such as "What year is it?", "Who is the President?", etc.
So, our plans for next weekend...remove this set of cabinets...which means more stuff to put on the table.
And if we can get to it..start the demo on the wall between the kitchen table and family room.
I often think back to almost 12 years ago when Kevin and I got married. He basically had little to no skills in the home improvement department and he will readily admit it. I tell the story every so often...when we lived in our duplex in Highland, IN when we first got married, he literally used a Hot Glue gun to hang up our current rods. Now look at him. He is equipped with a Sawzall, crow bar and a hammer among many other tools. He doesn't have a tool belt, but I think through this kitchen project, he certainly has earned one.
So the title of this post is correct...Never laugh at your spouse getting hit as it will come back to bite you in the a$$.
This weekend we finished removing the last of the upper cabinets and the soffit along the back wall and stove wall. As Kevin was pulling on some of the soffit over the stove, a large piece of it fell down from the ceiling and smacked him across the forehead. I asked if he was ok and he was, but I looked at him and told him that it was going to leave a mark. This made me think to Monday when everyone at work would be inquiring "What happened?" which made me laugh. He of course took it as though I was laughing "AT" him and I wasn't.
Anywho.
As we continued working to clean up as much as possible, we started using wire cutters to cut at the plaster grids along the wall and ceiling. Kevin decided to mow the lawn and left me to continue working with the plaster grids.
I was standing on a step stool in front of the sink and began to pull at some of the grid I had just cut when I lost my balance.
I fell and hit the countertop with the side of my face and chin, I landed on the floor supported by my right knee (the one I had surgery on eight weeks ago). Upon feeling that surge of pain, I ended up somehow having the right side of my head hit the handle on one of the cabinets which led to an immediate cone-shaped knot protruding from my head.
Surprisingly, you can only see a bruise on my knee just above the incision marks and one on my right arm. There are no bruises on my face, yet I have the sensation that someone struck the side of my face with a board and it is very sore. Kevin keeps testing me with questions such as "What year is it?", "Who is the President?", etc.
So, our plans for next weekend...remove this set of cabinets...which means more stuff to put on the table.
And if we can get to it..start the demo on the wall between the kitchen table and family room.
I often think back to almost 12 years ago when Kevin and I got married. He basically had little to no skills in the home improvement department and he will readily admit it. I tell the story every so often...when we lived in our duplex in Highland, IN when we first got married, he literally used a Hot Glue gun to hang up our current rods. Now look at him. He is equipped with a Sawzall, crow bar and a hammer among many other tools. He doesn't have a tool belt, but I think through this kitchen project, he certainly has earned one.
So the title of this post is correct...Never laugh at your spouse getting hit as it will come back to bite you in the a$$.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Email notifications...
You now have the option to "subscribe" to our blog. Simply enter your email address to the left and you will receive our updates by email. This way you won't have to always check back and, perhaps, forget.
Have fun!
Have fun!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Referrals, referrals, everywhere...
Congratulations to all the families who have received their referrals this week!
Those that received there referrals...
1. Miya's Memoirs
2. Elsie Elsewhere
3. Waiting for Jade Eden
4. The Rachel Chronicles
5. Our Journey to China for Mia
6. Jean & Christopher's Baby Girl
7. Just Call Me Mama
8. Ladybug
9. Our Journey to Katelyn
10. Journey to Jinji
11. Journey to Dani
12. Pomegranate
13. Journey to Faith
14. David Kawada's Home Page
15. Journey to Mylee
16. Eliza's Story
17. Waiting for Lela Rose
18. Journey to Our Little Ladybug
19. Journey to Lauren
20. Kylie's web page
21. Waiting for Paige
This referral group includes LIDs from July 23 through August 9.
Those that received there referrals...
1. Miya's Memoirs
2. Elsie Elsewhere
3. Waiting for Jade Eden
4. The Rachel Chronicles
5. Our Journey to China for Mia
6. Jean & Christopher's Baby Girl
7. Just Call Me Mama
8. Ladybug
9. Our Journey to Katelyn
10. Journey to Jinji
11. Journey to Dani
12. Pomegranate
13. Journey to Faith
14. David Kawada's Home Page
15. Journey to Mylee
16. Eliza's Story
17. Waiting for Lela Rose
18. Journey to Our Little Ladybug
19. Journey to Lauren
20. Kylie's web page
21. Waiting for Paige
This referral group includes LIDs from July 23 through August 9.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Shots, immunizations and disease... oh my
It's at the point that we must start getting our immunizations for our trip to Hong Kong. Those include:
- Hepatitis A or immune globulin (IG).
- Hepatitis B
- Malaria: - depending on which Province she's living.
- Typhoid - depending on which Province she's living.
- Tetanus
We're working with our insurance to find out what's covered and what's not. Most of them are NOT covered. The only ones that are covered are Tetanus and Hepatitis A.
Now, we're price shopping as to the cost of the others.
Right now the Hep B is $40 per shot and it's two shots; so a total of $160 for the both of us.
Hep A takes a little more than six months to complete -- which is why we need to start now.
Neither of us have had a Tetanus shot in years... so, it's time.
I'm thinking we'll take pictures of our shots and then post to the blog.
Tell us what you think?
- Hepatitis A or immune globulin (IG).
- Hepatitis B
- Malaria: - depending on which Province she's living.
- Typhoid - depending on which Province she's living.
- Tetanus
We're working with our insurance to find out what's covered and what's not. Most of them are NOT covered. The only ones that are covered are Tetanus and Hepatitis A.
Now, we're price shopping as to the cost of the others.
Right now the Hep B is $40 per shot and it's two shots; so a total of $160 for the both of us.
Hep A takes a little more than six months to complete -- which is why we need to start now.
Neither of us have had a Tetanus shot in years... so, it's time.
I'm thinking we'll take pictures of our shots and then post to the blog.
Tell us what you think?
Saturday, September 16, 2006
And so it goes...
We've been keeping ourselves rather busy lately... Kevin's been traveling for work a lot more than what he typically does. Jenn's been taking classes this summer to brush up on payroll laws and healing her knee from surgery.
We had five cubic yards of dirt delivered yesterday for our "hole" in the backyard. We've moved about half of it and we think the hole's filled. Who knows what we're going to do with the rest of it. Maybe we'll sell it on eBay?
We have had several adoption events lately... our adoption agency's and FCCs (Families with Children from China) picnics and our Waiting Families group. All were a lot of fun keeping up with where everybody is in their own process and, of course, googooing over the babies that have come home from overseas. It was really great to go to our adoption agency's picnic as we met other couples that were adopting from Korea, Haiti and other countries. It's just amazing how each country has the same but different process. Some require travel over to the country, others will fly into O'Hare. We just can't imagine driving to O'Hare and getting a child. As much as we are dreading the flight to China, we are excited about visiting that country.
We have received ten pieces for our 100 Wishes Quilt so far. I encourage you to take a sneak peak at them by clicking the link here or the static link under "Our Stats" on the left side of our site. We have set up a separate blog that is specific to the Quilt. This way, you will be able to visit it as often as you like for updates.
The wait for our referral is still rather long. We are nearly six months into our wait and have about six to eight more to go. Boy has it gone fast. But, again, we're trying to keep ourselves busy planning (and shopping) for her room. We are still working on finalizing our house. We have planted various things off our patio that my parents gave us from their house; our kitchen is officially a disaster area as I'm beginning the tear-out process; and we've gotten our yard somewhat in order. Next year it should really be nice!
Other than that... it's old news.
We had five cubic yards of dirt delivered yesterday for our "hole" in the backyard. We've moved about half of it and we think the hole's filled. Who knows what we're going to do with the rest of it. Maybe we'll sell it on eBay?
We have had several adoption events lately... our adoption agency's and FCCs (Families with Children from China) picnics and our Waiting Families group. All were a lot of fun keeping up with where everybody is in their own process and, of course, googooing over the babies that have come home from overseas. It was really great to go to our adoption agency's picnic as we met other couples that were adopting from Korea, Haiti and other countries. It's just amazing how each country has the same but different process. Some require travel over to the country, others will fly into O'Hare. We just can't imagine driving to O'Hare and getting a child. As much as we are dreading the flight to China, we are excited about visiting that country.
We have received ten pieces for our 100 Wishes Quilt so far. I encourage you to take a sneak peak at them by clicking the link here or the static link under "Our Stats" on the left side of our site. We have set up a separate blog that is specific to the Quilt. This way, you will be able to visit it as often as you like for updates.
The wait for our referral is still rather long. We are nearly six months into our wait and have about six to eight more to go. Boy has it gone fast. But, again, we're trying to keep ourselves busy planning (and shopping) for her room. We are still working on finalizing our house. We have planted various things off our patio that my parents gave us from their house; our kitchen is officially a disaster area as I'm beginning the tear-out process; and we've gotten our yard somewhat in order. Next year it should really be nice!
Other than that... it's old news.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Referrals, referrals, everywhere...
It's that time of the month when CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs) places their kids with their new parents. It's really a fun time every month for us to watch those folks getting their matches. For example, good friends of ours (Steve and Mellissa) received their referral/match this past Friday. She is beautiful! Check out their blog with photos.
Another blog we read regularly (Do they have Salsa in China) received their referral today. They received twins! Check out their blog with photos.
All three girls are absolutely beautiful. We are so happy for them.
The question we tend to get all the time is: so, when will you get your referral? Well it's a very complicated question to answer. First of all, it is completely out of our control. We are simply waiting on CCAA. Truthfully, they haven't even reviewed our adoption application yet.
If you look at the image to the left, you'll notice that they have reviewed documents through October 31, 2005. Our documents were logged in April 24, 2006. So, we have a ways to go. The rumor is they should be through November 2005, but they haven't updated that portion yet.
The other thing to note on the graphic image above is the placement of children date, which is July 22, 2005. Our friends Steve and Mellissa were logged in July 19, 2005. So, they placed children to those people that were logged-in from July 14, 2005 through July 22, 2005. They only placed eight days of LIDs.
This is why our LID of April 24, 2006 is extremely important. Basically, at this rate, it will be two years before we get our child(ren). It's been told to us many times that this is a cyclical process and that it slows down and then speeds up. It's been very slow for about eight months now. So, hopefully, it will speed back up shortly.
The graphic to the right gives you the historical detail. The first column is the date the CCAA Web page was updated, the second column is the review of adoption applications and the third column is the dates of placements. If you look closely you'll notice that from December to January, they placed about 20 days of referrals. It began slowing down right after that. From January 23, 2006 through today, the average placement of children by LIDs is only 10 days. So, that would, again, put us somewhere in the two year mark. But, that's if you have an analytical mind. We do not believe it will be two years. We believe next summer. But, you never know.
So is that clear as mud?
We've been keeping ourselves busy, however. I've been updating the blog's features practically every day. If you haven't noticed there are a lot of links to the left that include the CCAA Web site, other blogs we follow and just a lot of cool things we use. We have basically become an aggregator for all things China-adoptions, finalizing our kitchen plans and working.
Another blog we read regularly (Do they have Salsa in China) received their referral today. They received twins! Check out their blog with photos.
All three girls are absolutely beautiful. We are so happy for them.
The question we tend to get all the time is: so, when will you get your referral? Well it's a very complicated question to answer. First of all, it is completely out of our control. We are simply waiting on CCAA. Truthfully, they haven't even reviewed our adoption application yet.
If you look at the image to the left, you'll notice that they have reviewed documents through October 31, 2005. Our documents were logged in April 24, 2006. So, we have a ways to go. The rumor is they should be through November 2005, but they haven't updated that portion yet.
The other thing to note on the graphic image above is the placement of children date, which is July 22, 2005. Our friends Steve and Mellissa were logged in July 19, 2005. So, they placed children to those people that were logged-in from July 14, 2005 through July 22, 2005. They only placed eight days of LIDs.
This is why our LID of April 24, 2006 is extremely important. Basically, at this rate, it will be two years before we get our child(ren). It's been told to us many times that this is a cyclical process and that it slows down and then speeds up. It's been very slow for about eight months now. So, hopefully, it will speed back up shortly.
The graphic to the right gives you the historical detail. The first column is the date the CCAA Web page was updated, the second column is the review of adoption applications and the third column is the dates of placements. If you look closely you'll notice that from December to January, they placed about 20 days of referrals. It began slowing down right after that. From January 23, 2006 through today, the average placement of children by LIDs is only 10 days. So, that would, again, put us somewhere in the two year mark. But, that's if you have an analytical mind. We do not believe it will be two years. We believe next summer. But, you never know.So is that clear as mud?
We've been keeping ourselves busy, however. I've been updating the blog's features practically every day. If you haven't noticed there are a lot of links to the left that include the CCAA Web site, other blogs we follow and just a lot of cool things we use. We have basically become an aggregator for all things China-adoptions, finalizing our kitchen plans and working.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Our new addition is on its way...
FINALLY! We've decided to do our horrible kitchen! We've hated our kitchen from the day we moved in. There was a drop ceiling that was hiding damage, the cabinets were peeling from the cheap laminate crap and the hardware was disgusting. Here's a before picture...
We decided to go with Benson Stone Company. Our designer, Kelly, really helped us get the best for our $$$. Here is a picture of the cabinet we picked out...
.
Believe us when we say it looks MUCH better in person than from the catalog image.
We did decide to do granite countertops with a four inch back splash. I don't have a sample of it, but the basic color is black with tones of green, beige and gray throughout.
While the layout of our kitchen isn't changing too much, here are the specs of what it will look like...
We ordered our cabinets yesterday and should be here within three to four weeks. I am working on some demolition myself to help save some $$$ -- I'm really good at demo! Our contractor is also adding lighting, removing soffits and, hopefully, the wall between our kitchen and family room -- the secret quote that Jenn doesn't really know about. See remaining photos...
Our stainless steel sink (Jenn won that argument) will be undermounted; and, the only things we have left to pick out are knobs and a faucet. For hardware, we're leaning toward this for the drawers and this for the doors.
We decided to go with Benson Stone Company. Our designer, Kelly, really helped us get the best for our $$$. Here is a picture of the cabinet we picked out...
. Believe us when we say it looks MUCH better in person than from the catalog image.
We did decide to do granite countertops with a four inch back splash. I don't have a sample of it, but the basic color is black with tones of green, beige and gray throughout.
While the layout of our kitchen isn't changing too much, here are the specs of what it will look like...
We ordered our cabinets yesterday and should be here within three to four weeks. I am working on some demolition myself to help save some $$$ -- I'm really good at demo! Our contractor is also adding lighting, removing soffits and, hopefully, the wall between our kitchen and family room -- the secret quote that Jenn doesn't really know about. See remaining photos...
Our stainless steel sink (Jenn won that argument) will be undermounted; and, the only things we have left to pick out are knobs and a faucet. For hardware, we're leaning toward this for the drawers and this for the doors.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
100 Wishes Quilt fabrics...
There have been a lot of questions as to what type of fabric we're receiving for the 100 Wishes Quilt. Below are some samples of fabrics we've received. They couldn't be more perfect...
"Live, Love, Learn, Grow, Share, Explore."
"May you honor and respect your Chinese culture, while appreciating the freedoms your parents have afforded you by bringing you home to America."
"For a happy life, make memories that will bring you pleasure."
Remember, we need all fabrics by the end of 2006!
"Live, Love, Learn, Grow, Share, Explore."
"May you honor and respect your Chinese culture, while appreciating the freedoms your parents have afforded you by bringing you home to America."
"For a happy life, make memories that will bring you pleasure."
Remember, we need all fabrics by the end of 2006!
Friday, August 11, 2006
Jenn's alive and well...
Jenn's knee surgery was yesterday and she's doing well.
She had to be at the hospital by 7:30 a.m. Her lateral meniscus surgery was to be at 9:30. Her doctor (Dr. Barba) was 45 minutes late; therefore, she didn't leave the prep room until 10:30 a.m.
By the time I left the room, dropped the newspapers off at my truck, went to the bathroom, asked the receptionist where I needed to be, got to the waiting, was told I was in the wrong waiting, moved to the right waiting room, put on my headphones, Dr. Barba was out to tell me how her surgery went. It literally lasted about 20-25 minutes.
So, here's the low-down... her tear was worse than expected and her knee-cap had a dent that needed to be shaved down. Other than that, her surgery went as expected.
For those of you interested, here's a link to what her surgery looks like...
Pretty cool, eh?
As the video explains, Jennifer only has two little holes (not three) that are covered by two band-aids. Her ACE bandages that covered her leg came off today.
Anywho, when she's sitting or not using her leg/knee, she feels fine. When she is on or using her right leg/knee, she needs her walker for assistance. And let me tell you that is a sight! The moaning and groaning is fun to listen to. I now know what my future has in store. God help me!
Thanks to our neighbors who brought us a DELICIOUS dinner last night and to our friends at the Rockford Register Star for sending her a cookie bouquet today.
She had to be at the hospital by 7:30 a.m. Her lateral meniscus surgery was to be at 9:30. Her doctor (Dr. Barba) was 45 minutes late; therefore, she didn't leave the prep room until 10:30 a.m.
By the time I left the room, dropped the newspapers off at my truck, went to the bathroom, asked the receptionist where I needed to be, got to the waiting, was told I was in the wrong waiting, moved to the right waiting room, put on my headphones, Dr. Barba was out to tell me how her surgery went. It literally lasted about 20-25 minutes.
So, here's the low-down... her tear was worse than expected and her knee-cap had a dent that needed to be shaved down. Other than that, her surgery went as expected.
For those of you interested, here's a link to what her surgery looks like...
Pretty cool, eh?
As the video explains, Jennifer only has two little holes (not three) that are covered by two band-aids. Her ACE bandages that covered her leg came off today.
Anywho, when she's sitting or not using her leg/knee, she feels fine. When she is on or using her right leg/knee, she needs her walker for assistance. And let me tell you that is a sight! The moaning and groaning is fun to listen to. I now know what my future has in store. God help me!
Thanks to our neighbors who brought us a DELICIOUS dinner last night and to our friends at the Rockford Register Star for sending her a cookie bouquet today.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Sing-a-long...
So, we decided to do a blog to make it easier for us and you, our family and friends to read along.
Most blogs that we've read are "A Journey to [name of child]," but since we're not sharing our name(s) right now, we wanted to come up with something clever. We've been reading one titled "Is there salsa in China," and really liked that, but it was already taken. So, we came up with "Mairzy doats and dozy doats."
The reason? Well, my grandmother used to sing this song to me when I was a little kid and I have always loved it. Jenn is the one that came up with the idea and voila... here we are.
A quick tour... on the left you will find all of our emails that we sent out previously, plus a lot of links. I encourage you to check them out, it's quite fascinating. But, before you do, we have a sing-a-long...
Most blogs that we've read are "A Journey to [name of child]," but since we're not sharing our name(s) right now, we wanted to come up with something clever. We've been reading one titled "Is there salsa in China," and really liked that, but it was already taken. So, we came up with "Mairzy doats and dozy doats."
The reason? Well, my grandmother used to sing this song to me when I was a little kid and I have always loved it. Jenn is the one that came up with the idea and voila... here we are.
A quick tour... on the left you will find all of our emails that we sent out previously, plus a lot of links. I encourage you to check them out, it's quite fascinating. But, before you do, we have a sing-a-long...
- Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you
- Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you
- If the words sound queer and funny to your ear A little bit jumbled and jivey Sing, "Mares eat oats and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy"
- Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you
- Oh! Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you
Friday, July 28, 2006
We're educated parents-to-be...
Originally written July 21, 2006
Today was our class titled "International Adoption Parent Education" -- and the last requirement of our agency.
We spent eight hours (and earned a certificate) learning about international adoption -- as if we haven't done any research over the past 10 months.
It was different to walk into the room and have three tables reserved for people adopting from China, two tables for Ethiopia, one table for Guatemala, and one table for Korea. We were among two people that have their logged-in date and only two people that just received referrals. We're now juniors instead of freshman.
Items covered include: "Hidden losses and resolution of grief in the adoption process;" "Cross-cultural and transracial parenting;" "Attachment/bonding/blending;" "Medical issues in international adoption;" "Talking about adoption across the lifespan;" and "Adoptive families presentation."
While this information is very informative and sometimes useful, here are our comments...
Hidden losses and resolution of grief in the adoption process: This session talked specifically about biological losses, adoption losses, loss of privacy and control, limited information about your child's life and future, loss of "normal" family status, loss of complete medical history, genealogical bewilderment, and grief.
Cross-cultural and transracial parenting: This session talked specifically about why it's important to think about your child's racial and ethnic identity, identity needs of children adopted trans-culturally, every child is entitled to love and full-membership in their family, positive cultural and racial identity, preparing our children to deal with prejudice.
Attachment/bonding/blending: This session talked specifically about how we may not get what we want, we may not like what we get, and how this child is not seeking a parent.
Medical issues in international adoption: This session talked specifically about what diseases your child could bring with them.
Talking about adoption across the lifespan: This session talked specifically about experiences and child rearing.
Adoptive families presentation: This session talked specifically about traveling in China.
So, what's on the horizon for us now? Waiting, waiting, waiting. The Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) has moved. Which means, they've shut down for almost a month -- no referrals are happening. CCAA has reviewed all applicants with a log-in date (LID) through October 2005. Remember ours is April 2006. So, there's a six-month lag time. Additionally, the supply is still small. So, rumors are 18 to 24 months for referrals. However, we keep hearing that this is cyclical and should pick up the pace soon. We're still telling ourselves 12-18 months.
Thanks to those who have sent in the fabric squares -- they really mean a lot to us. For those of you that haven't, please continue to do so.
This will probably be one of the last emails that you will get from us until our referral comes. If anything happens that we are not aware of, we will keep you posted.
Love... us
Today was our class titled "International Adoption Parent Education" -- and the last requirement of our agency.
We spent eight hours (and earned a certificate) learning about international adoption -- as if we haven't done any research over the past 10 months.
It was different to walk into the room and have three tables reserved for people adopting from China, two tables for Ethiopia, one table for Guatemala, and one table for Korea. We were among two people that have their logged-in date and only two people that just received referrals. We're now juniors instead of freshman.
Items covered include: "Hidden losses and resolution of grief in the adoption process;" "Cross-cultural and transracial parenting;" "Attachment/bonding/blending;" "Medical issues in international adoption;" "Talking about adoption across the lifespan;" and "Adoptive families presentation."
While this information is very informative and sometimes useful, here are our comments...
Hidden losses and resolution of grief in the adoption process: This session talked specifically about biological losses, adoption losses, loss of privacy and control, limited information about your child's life and future, loss of "normal" family status, loss of complete medical history, genealogical bewilderment, and grief.
- COMMENTARY: fun, fun fun! This session actually started the morning, to which we've dubbed it "the dawn of the dead." Honestly, this session was more geared toward losing your dreams and settling. It was about how your child will probably go through the stages of grief from what they've known to what is there new norm. The speaker primarly works with troubled boys and did not know much about international adoption.
Cross-cultural and transracial parenting: This session talked specifically about why it's important to think about your child's racial and ethnic identity, identity needs of children adopted trans-culturally, every child is entitled to love and full-membership in their family, positive cultural and racial identity, preparing our children to deal with prejudice.
- COMMENTARY: This was a pretty good session. It talked about not allowing racism into your lives. How to handle those comments, remarks, etc. How we will no longer be a caucasion family -- we will be a cross-cultural, transracial family. It is important to make sure our child knows and is proud of their own heritage. They talked a lot about "white privilege."
Attachment/bonding/blending: This session talked specifically about how we may not get what we want, we may not like what we get, and how this child is not seeking a parent.
- COMMENTARY: Basically, what she was saying is that what we are requesting may not come through. For example, we've requested a female under one year of age. We may get a female that is 18 mos. old. You just never know. Also, there have been a lot of people who have not bonded to their child and whose child has not bonded with them. All-in-all an okay session. Our favorite part was the Cabbage Patch doll demonstration. Priceless.
Medical issues in international adoption: This session talked specifically about what diseases your child could bring with them.
- COMMENTARY: While this sounds ridiculous, it was one of our most favorite (and popular) sessions. There was a pediatrician who did the presentation and we LOVED her. Anyway, here is a list of health problems specific to Asia: malaria, hepatitus A, B and C, HIV, parasites, lead poisoning, fetal alcohol syndrome, tuberculosis, and psycho-social dwarfism. She suggests that we take a lot of medication over with us and that we get re-immunized. Fifty-percent of international travelers get travelers diarrhea -- Ann, does this sound familiar???
Talking about adoption across the lifespan: This session talked specifically about experiences and child rearing.
- COMMENTARY: This was cool. We got to listen to a mother and her 32-year old Korean-American adopted daughter. It was VERY cool to get an international adopted adults perspective. The other family that was on the panel have adopted three daughters from China and are awaiting their I-171H for their fourth. The entire family is going back to China to get their fourth child. Pretty cool. Both had a lot of great advice and was fun to listen to their experiences in raising their children. Oh, and it's always great to see the kids and how healthy, happy and typical they are at their ages.
Adoptive families presentation: This session talked specifically about traveling in China.
- COMMENTARY: It's always fun and exciting to hear these folks experience as they are all the same. This is one of the main reasons we chose the China program -- because everyone has the same experience.
So, what's on the horizon for us now? Waiting, waiting, waiting. The Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) has moved. Which means, they've shut down for almost a month -- no referrals are happening. CCAA has reviewed all applicants with a log-in date (LID) through October 2005. Remember ours is April 2006. So, there's a six-month lag time. Additionally, the supply is still small. So, rumors are 18 to 24 months for referrals. However, we keep hearing that this is cyclical and should pick up the pace soon. We're still telling ourselves 12-18 months.
Thanks to those who have sent in the fabric squares -- they really mean a lot to us. For those of you that haven't, please continue to do so.
This will probably be one of the last emails that you will get from us until our referral comes. If anything happens that we are not aware of, we will keep you posted.
Love... us
100 Good Wishes Quilt
Originally written June 16, 2006
Okay... we know we promised no updates until July-ish, but we ran across the article below that published in today's Chicago Tribune that we just could not resist.
This article is following Kelly Haramis (Chicago Tribune reporter) that is adopting her child from China. Typically, it's a weekly article in the Q section of the Sunday Chicago Tribune; and, of course, we are addicted to her story as it well represents ours.
But this Sunday's just touched us more than most. Apparently, "in some sections of China, it is good luck to make a 100 Good Wishes Quilt for a new baby." So, this is our latest mission. We want you, our family and friends, to provide us with a 7" x 7" piece of fabric. It can be the design of your choice. We also want you to provide a "wish" for our daughter. It can be anything you want it to be (suggestions are in the article below). Just please make sure you attach a piece of the fabric you purchased to the wish, so our daughter will know who it came from.
You can purchase one for your whole family; you can purchase one for each member of your family... it just depends on what you want to do. We will be working toward a goal of 100.
We would like to have all of the fabric squares to us no later than the end of Fall 2006 so that we can have a quilter assemble the squares.
Love... us
================================
QUALITIES OF LIFE
Warm wishes bundled up with a baby quilt
By Kelly Haramis
Tribune staff reporter
Published June 4, 2006
My daughter may still be in China, but she has 100 good wishes waiting for her in a flowery fabric-covered scrapbook.
Perhaps even a few more than 100, as at least two more of my friends have promised to participate in the Good Wishes Quilt that I will soon have made for her. In some sections of China, it is good luck to make a 100 Good Wishes Quilt for a new baby, and the practice has caught on with many adoptive families.
In November, I wrote that I had 57 wishes and fabric squares. Since October, I swapped fabric twice with parents-to-be from the September 2005 DTC (dossier to China) group on yahoo.com, and I have also received fabric from relatives, friends and co-workers.
For those unfamiliar with the process, 100 people send a piece of 7-by-7-inch fabric (a "quilt square") and a separate wish for a baby with a small swatch of the same fabric.
It has been exciting to receive the different pieces of fabric (from Mardi Gras masks from a fellow parent-to-be in Louisiana to cowboys from a family in Texas).
One of my co-workers gave me fabric that her mom used to make her quilt when she was a baby. And the scrapbook showcases a fantastically colorful array of wishes: Some are handwritten poetry, others are biblical, some literary. There are Chinese proverbs and even an excerpt from "Cinderella."
I can't wait to share these wishes with my daughter and hope the quilt and book will stay with her through her life.
Still, there's one good wish that is missing, one that I wish, more than any other, that I could give my daughter: a wish from my mother.
Last week marked a year since my mother's funeral. It was an unexpected loss--she was fatally struck in a crosswalk (my mom had the right of way) by a man driving a truck.
I think about my mom every day--about how excited she was to once again become a grandmother.
I know I'm not alone in becoming a mother without my mother.
The subject of Hope Edelman's new book, "Motherless Mothers: How Mother Loss Shapes the Parents We Become" (which is on my "to-read" list), is proof.
Still, I wonder what my mom's wish for my daughter would have been. I think she would have wished for my daughter to be blessed with self-confidence, respect for herself and others, and a strong desire for education.
Why? Because those are the qualities she instilled so strongly in me.
Without a wish from my mom, my sister copied the wish that my mom gave my niece, who was adopted from China in February 2004. My mom wrote:
"Always see the beauty in all that surrounds you, mornings, sunshine, blue skies, soft rain, moonlight, stars, promising spring days, long hazy summer days, cool crisp fall days, quiet snowy days, flowers, trees and meadows.
"Remember to smile and always find the cup half full because happiness comes from within."
Well said, Mom.
So what about my wish to my daughter? I'm still working on it. Besides I have a little more time to ponder--the wait is getting longer.
Yet even now, with the words still unformed, I know my wish will have something to do with a lifetime of eating hot fudge sundaes, flying kites and listening to stories about her late grandmother.
I hope my daughter will always be able to look at her scrapbook, feel the Good Wishes Quilt soft against her skin and, like me, know the same unconditional, never-ending love from her mother.
----------
Kelly is writing periodic updates for Q as she waits to meet her daughter from China. For Kelly's past adoption updates, please see chicagotribune.com/adoption.
kharamis@tribune.com
Okay... we know we promised no updates until July-ish, but we ran across the article below that published in today's Chicago Tribune that we just could not resist.
This article is following Kelly Haramis (Chicago Tribune reporter) that is adopting her child from China. Typically, it's a weekly article in the Q section of the Sunday Chicago Tribune; and, of course, we are addicted to her story as it well represents ours.
But this Sunday's just touched us more than most. Apparently, "in some sections of China, it is good luck to make a 100 Good Wishes Quilt for a new baby." So, this is our latest mission. We want you, our family and friends, to provide us with a 7" x 7" piece of fabric. It can be the design of your choice. We also want you to provide a "wish" for our daughter. It can be anything you want it to be (suggestions are in the article below). Just please make sure you attach a piece of the fabric you purchased to the wish, so our daughter will know who it came from.
You can purchase one for your whole family; you can purchase one for each member of your family... it just depends on what you want to do. We will be working toward a goal of 100.
We would like to have all of the fabric squares to us no later than the end of Fall 2006 so that we can have a quilter assemble the squares.
Love... us
================================
QUALITIES OF LIFE
Warm wishes bundled up with a baby quilt
By Kelly Haramis
Tribune staff reporter
Published June 4, 2006
My daughter may still be in China, but she has 100 good wishes waiting for her in a flowery fabric-covered scrapbook.
Perhaps even a few more than 100, as at least two more of my friends have promised to participate in the Good Wishes Quilt that I will soon have made for her. In some sections of China, it is good luck to make a 100 Good Wishes Quilt for a new baby, and the practice has caught on with many adoptive families.
In November, I wrote that I had 57 wishes and fabric squares. Since October, I swapped fabric twice with parents-to-be from the September 2005 DTC (dossier to China) group on yahoo.com, and I have also received fabric from relatives, friends and co-workers.
For those unfamiliar with the process, 100 people send a piece of 7-by-7-inch fabric (a "quilt square") and a separate wish for a baby with a small swatch of the same fabric.
It has been exciting to receive the different pieces of fabric (from Mardi Gras masks from a fellow parent-to-be in Louisiana to cowboys from a family in Texas).
One of my co-workers gave me fabric that her mom used to make her quilt when she was a baby. And the scrapbook showcases a fantastically colorful array of wishes: Some are handwritten poetry, others are biblical, some literary. There are Chinese proverbs and even an excerpt from "Cinderella."
I can't wait to share these wishes with my daughter and hope the quilt and book will stay with her through her life.
Still, there's one good wish that is missing, one that I wish, more than any other, that I could give my daughter: a wish from my mother.
Last week marked a year since my mother's funeral. It was an unexpected loss--she was fatally struck in a crosswalk (my mom had the right of way) by a man driving a truck.
I think about my mom every day--about how excited she was to once again become a grandmother.
I know I'm not alone in becoming a mother without my mother.
The subject of Hope Edelman's new book, "Motherless Mothers: How Mother Loss Shapes the Parents We Become" (which is on my "to-read" list), is proof.
Still, I wonder what my mom's wish for my daughter would have been. I think she would have wished for my daughter to be blessed with self-confidence, respect for herself and others, and a strong desire for education.
Why? Because those are the qualities she instilled so strongly in me.
Without a wish from my mom, my sister copied the wish that my mom gave my niece, who was adopted from China in February 2004. My mom wrote:
"Always see the beauty in all that surrounds you, mornings, sunshine, blue skies, soft rain, moonlight, stars, promising spring days, long hazy summer days, cool crisp fall days, quiet snowy days, flowers, trees and meadows.
"Remember to smile and always find the cup half full because happiness comes from within."
Well said, Mom.
So what about my wish to my daughter? I'm still working on it. Besides I have a little more time to ponder--the wait is getting longer.
Yet even now, with the words still unformed, I know my wish will have something to do with a lifetime of eating hot fudge sundaes, flying kites and listening to stories about her late grandmother.
I hope my daughter will always be able to look at her scrapbook, feel the Good Wishes Quilt soft against her skin and, like me, know the same unconditional, never-ending love from her mother.
----------
Kelly is writing periodic updates for Q as she waits to meet her daughter from China. For Kelly's past adoption updates, please see chicagotribune.com/adoption.
kharamis@tribune.com
We're logged in!
Originally written May 20, 2006
We have received our logged in date of April 24, 2006. Great news!
This means that we should receive our referral/match in 10 to 12 months from that date provided the rumor mill isn't true. We've heard two rumors... it will take 18 months OR it will take 36 months. Who knows what's true. We stay out of the chat rooms as there's typically no basis for those comments.
If you've seen the latest reports on Dateline or Primetime Live or any of those shows, you know there is not enough supply to meet the demand. While we hate putting it that way, it's the truth. The Chinese Government is just now realizing that their population is uneven... there are more men than women. So, they feel as though they needed to do something. They're now offering to families a retirement bonus if they keep a girl. This bonus is usually more than what they make in a year and will help them live during their golden years. Other reasons include an increase of applicants and babies being stolen from their birth families and given/sold to new families so they have a wife for their sons.
You won't hear from us much over the summer as now it's all a waiting game. Our next update will be in July after our "parent training." This is not what you think. The purpose of this is to help us transition our child to her new life. Topics include: not letting anyone hold, feed or change her for the first two months, how to deal with "raging," among other things.
The purpose of not letting anyone hold, feed or change her is because she needs to develop a bond with her parents. While in an orphanage, there are many hands that change, feed and hold her. It is extremely imperative that she knows who takes care of her.
Raging: because her routine/life is changing 180 degrees, there are times when the child could "rage." This is due to overstimulation, different language, and just not understanding what is happening. Our friends child went through this stage, but it lasted for, maybe, two weeks after coming home. Now she's doing tremendous.
That's about it from beautiful Rockford, IL.
Have a great summer!
We have received our logged in date of April 24, 2006. Great news!
This means that we should receive our referral/match in 10 to 12 months from that date provided the rumor mill isn't true. We've heard two rumors... it will take 18 months OR it will take 36 months. Who knows what's true. We stay out of the chat rooms as there's typically no basis for those comments.
If you've seen the latest reports on Dateline or Primetime Live or any of those shows, you know there is not enough supply to meet the demand. While we hate putting it that way, it's the truth. The Chinese Government is just now realizing that their population is uneven... there are more men than women. So, they feel as though they needed to do something. They're now offering to families a retirement bonus if they keep a girl. This bonus is usually more than what they make in a year and will help them live during their golden years. Other reasons include an increase of applicants and babies being stolen from their birth families and given/sold to new families so they have a wife for their sons.
You won't hear from us much over the summer as now it's all a waiting game. Our next update will be in July after our "parent training." This is not what you think. The purpose of this is to help us transition our child to her new life. Topics include: not letting anyone hold, feed or change her for the first two months, how to deal with "raging," among other things.
The purpose of not letting anyone hold, feed or change her is because she needs to develop a bond with her parents. While in an orphanage, there are many hands that change, feed and hold her. It is extremely imperative that she knows who takes care of her.
Raging: because her routine/life is changing 180 degrees, there are times when the child could "rage." This is due to overstimulation, different language, and just not understanding what is happening. Our friends child went through this stage, but it lasted for, maybe, two weeks after coming home. Now she's doing tremendous.
That's about it from beautiful Rockford, IL.
Have a great summer!
Good Friday!
Originally written April 14, 2006
It was definitely a Good Friday for Jennifer and I.
After nearly seven months of working on paperwork, we received our approved dossier back from the Chinese Consulate's office in Chicago.
If you remember correctly, we started this process with our application in September 2005. October was our initial overview appointment. November and December were devoted to our home study. January began our true paper chase; and, has just ended.
By the time I got home, the post office attempted to deliver the package and the earliest I could get it would have been today after 11. Thank God our wonderful carrier saw the garage door open and decided to try again! Had it not been for her, we would not have received the packet.
In the packet, the Consulate put in the change ($15) from our over payment in CASH! If you remember, they gave us a very hard time about over paying.
I made copies. Jenn came home and sorted. And then we submitted everything to our caseworker and are DTC (documents to China).
We are officially PAPERWORK PREGNANT! WOO HOO
Our next step is to get our logged-in date. We should receive that in about a month or so. Once we get that date, it will be 10-12 months later for our match/referral and travel two months after the date of the match/referral.
================================
GOSSIP: Apparently China had some turnover and that is the reason why it takes so long to get our logged-in date.
MORE GOSSIP: If you remember from the beginning, we were told six months for our referral/match. Then it went to seven. Then it went to eight. Then it went to eight to 10. Now we are at 10-12 months. The reason? We've heard two stories:
================================
On a separate, but related, note. We went to our first waiting families group that our agency organizes. There were only three couples... us, the Ventura's and the Tallackson's. We've met both of them before. This time the Ventura's have received their referral/match. Katelyn is beautiful. She actually looks like a chunk. I can't tell you the excitement you get for people you don't know that well when they get their referral. And, it really helps us to know that it does happen. The Tallackson's will be next sometime this summer. It's quite funny... the meeting started at 6. The organizer was ready to go at 8. And the six of us stood in the parking lot and talked for another hour. And we still weren't ready to go. Jenn and I are the oldest in the group but only by two-or-three years.
Other than that, that's about it.
It was a great day yesterday and one, we will forever remember.
Love... us
It was definitely a Good Friday for Jennifer and I.
After nearly seven months of working on paperwork, we received our approved dossier back from the Chinese Consulate's office in Chicago.
If you remember correctly, we started this process with our application in September 2005. October was our initial overview appointment. November and December were devoted to our home study. January began our true paper chase; and, has just ended.
By the time I got home, the post office attempted to deliver the package and the earliest I could get it would have been today after 11. Thank God our wonderful carrier saw the garage door open and decided to try again! Had it not been for her, we would not have received the packet.
In the packet, the Consulate put in the change ($15) from our over payment in CASH! If you remember, they gave us a very hard time about over paying.
I made copies. Jenn came home and sorted. And then we submitted everything to our caseworker and are DTC (documents to China).
We are officially PAPERWORK PREGNANT! WOO HOO
Our next step is to get our logged-in date. We should receive that in about a month or so. Once we get that date, it will be 10-12 months later for our match/referral and travel two months after the date of the match/referral.
================================
GOSSIP: Apparently China had some turnover and that is the reason why it takes so long to get our logged-in date.
MORE GOSSIP: If you remember from the beginning, we were told six months for our referral/match. Then it went to seven. Then it went to eight. Then it went to eight to 10. Now we are at 10-12 months. The reason? We've heard two stories:
- the workers haven't matched the paperwork up with the children because they are so behind.
- With the influx of applications, at the moment there is not enough supply to meet the demand.
================================
On a separate, but related, note. We went to our first waiting families group that our agency organizes. There were only three couples... us, the Ventura's and the Tallackson's. We've met both of them before. This time the Ventura's have received their referral/match. Katelyn is beautiful. She actually looks like a chunk. I can't tell you the excitement you get for people you don't know that well when they get their referral. And, it really helps us to know that it does happen. The Tallackson's will be next sometime this summer. It's quite funny... the meeting started at 6. The organizer was ready to go at 8. And the six of us stood in the parking lot and talked for another hour. And we still weren't ready to go. Jenn and I are the oldest in the group but only by two-or-three years.
Other than that, that's about it.
It was a great day yesterday and one, we will forever remember.
Love... us
Chicago... our kind of town
Originally written April 7, 2006
Hey all... hope all is well...
We finally received our I-171H last Saturday -- April Fools Day, 2006. Typical! This was the very last document we were waiting on and it was from Immigration. Basically, it tells us that we are cleared to adopt internationally. Jennifer and I took Friday off to go to downtown Chicago to get our Illinois documents certified by the Secretary of State's office. Once we got the 11 documents certified, we then went to the Chinese Consulate's office to drop them off for authentication. We don't understand 100% why that's necessary, but it's part of the process.
We had 14 different documents that needed to be authenticated by the Chinese Consulate's office. This cost us about $300. We should receive those back in overnight mail on Friday or Saturday this next week. Once we receive them... they go to our agency and we will be officially 'paperwork pregnant.'
This was a huge day for us as it's taken six months to get everything completed in order for us to adopt from China.
The Secretary of State's office charged us $22 and it lasted less than ten minutes. The Consulate's office was about 45 minutes by the time Jenn had organized everything. We have five copies of our entire dossier: the originals and four copies. One copy also went to the Consulate's office, another goes to our agency, the originals go to China and two for safe-keeping.
We had to have $300 in cash and a $300 money-order for the Consulate, because it depends on which way the wind blows as to what form of payment they want. And, our money-order was $15 more than what it needed to be and a couple that went last week were given change and we weren't. I told them to keep it. She wasn't happy with us, but we had already endorsed the money order and were, basically, screwed if they didn't accept it. Hopefully, this won't hold the paperwork hostage.
It was extremely weird and difficult handing over six months worth of work and put it in the hands of someone else -- especially for control freaks like us! But we did it and worried the rest of the day. I finally had to say to Jennifer... ENOUGH! As we were both freaking out.
There are a lot of people out there that refuse to adopt because of the stress and hoops the process has you go through. We really haven't been overly stressed this entire time. It's just steps in the process for us. But, again, when you hand over six months worth of work and they give you a hard time for paying $15 more, you can't help but stress out. They are in control and can make it or break it for you! So, I'm hoping they'll keep the $15 and order lunch with it.
While we were there, we met a woman from Aurora who was adopting her second from China. Her first, Reagan, was absolutely beautiful and doing very well in her development and motor skills. Actually, we ran in to her at the SOS office and then at the Consulate. She gave us some tips for travel... only pack three days worth of clothes and use the dry cleaners... don't buy any baby supplies, buy it at the Wal-mart in China (mom, Larry, I'll take pictures for you since you LOVE the Wal-mart), and practice squatting over a hole-in-the-ground for BMs. I'm excited!
It just still amazes me the connection the China adoptive parents have and how they're willing to share, communicate, and encourage each other. It's quite cool!
The entire day Friday, we walked a total of 15 miles and, boy, our legs and feet were telling us to stop. So we did.
This morning, we woke up, went to Fields and then on to Chinatown for shopping and lunch. We found a VERY cool, authentic Gioza basket while we were there. Basically, it's circular, stackable and has five compartments. We're planning on using it as an end table in our living room. It's a part of the Asian culture and we're trying to find out how it was used back in the day. Anyway, it's cool! See the attached photos.
We got home about 2:30 -- a record hour-and-a-half trip home from Chicago with construction! WOO HOO!
Love... us
Hey all... hope all is well...
We finally received our I-171H last Saturday -- April Fools Day, 2006. Typical! This was the very last document we were waiting on and it was from Immigration. Basically, it tells us that we are cleared to adopt internationally. Jennifer and I took Friday off to go to downtown Chicago to get our Illinois documents certified by the Secretary of State's office. Once we got the 11 documents certified, we then went to the Chinese Consulate's office to drop them off for authentication. We don't understand 100% why that's necessary, but it's part of the process.
We had 14 different documents that needed to be authenticated by the Chinese Consulate's office. This cost us about $300. We should receive those back in overnight mail on Friday or Saturday this next week. Once we receive them... they go to our agency and we will be officially 'paperwork pregnant.'
This was a huge day for us as it's taken six months to get everything completed in order for us to adopt from China.
The Secretary of State's office charged us $22 and it lasted less than ten minutes. The Consulate's office was about 45 minutes by the time Jenn had organized everything. We have five copies of our entire dossier: the originals and four copies. One copy also went to the Consulate's office, another goes to our agency, the originals go to China and two for safe-keeping.
We had to have $300 in cash and a $300 money-order for the Consulate, because it depends on which way the wind blows as to what form of payment they want. And, our money-order was $15 more than what it needed to be and a couple that went last week were given change and we weren't. I told them to keep it. She wasn't happy with us, but we had already endorsed the money order and were, basically, screwed if they didn't accept it. Hopefully, this won't hold the paperwork hostage.
It was extremely weird and difficult handing over six months worth of work and put it in the hands of someone else -- especially for control freaks like us! But we did it and worried the rest of the day. I finally had to say to Jennifer... ENOUGH! As we were both freaking out.
There are a lot of people out there that refuse to adopt because of the stress and hoops the process has you go through. We really haven't been overly stressed this entire time. It's just steps in the process for us. But, again, when you hand over six months worth of work and they give you a hard time for paying $15 more, you can't help but stress out. They are in control and can make it or break it for you! So, I'm hoping they'll keep the $15 and order lunch with it.
While we were there, we met a woman from Aurora who was adopting her second from China. Her first, Reagan, was absolutely beautiful and doing very well in her development and motor skills. Actually, we ran in to her at the SOS office and then at the Consulate. She gave us some tips for travel... only pack three days worth of clothes and use the dry cleaners... don't buy any baby supplies, buy it at the Wal-mart in China (mom, Larry, I'll take pictures for you since you LOVE the Wal-mart), and practice squatting over a hole-in-the-ground for BMs. I'm excited!
It just still amazes me the connection the China adoptive parents have and how they're willing to share, communicate, and encourage each other. It's quite cool!
The entire day Friday, we walked a total of 15 miles and, boy, our legs and feet were telling us to stop. So we did.
This morning, we woke up, went to Fields and then on to Chinatown for shopping and lunch. We found a VERY cool, authentic Gioza basket while we were there. Basically, it's circular, stackable and has five compartments. We're planning on using it as an end table in our living room. It's a part of the Asian culture and we're trying to find out how it was used back in the day. Anyway, it's cool! See the attached photos.
We got home about 2:30 -- a record hour-and-a-half trip home from Chicago with construction! WOO HOO!
Love... us
First class or coach?
Originally written March 25, 2006
Not too much is new on our end. We have everything ready for our dossier except for our I-171H from Immigration. It's our understanding that someone was terminated due to some type of scandal -- yeah. Therefore, it's taking a little longer for us to get our form back. Two weeks ago, Tuesday, they were working on the week of Jan. 19. They received our home study on Jan. 26. So, we're hoping to get it this week. If we do not have it Monday evening, we will get our caseworker on it.
Speaking of caseworker, ours quit. Apparently I pushed her over the edge. Big surprise there! No, seriously, she got a different job where she won't have to commute. Thank God our home study was complete.
Once we get our form from Immigration, we will go to the Secretary of State's office in Chicago to have our Illinois forms certified. Once that's complete we will go to the Chinese Consulate's office and get all of our forms authenticated. When we receive our packet back from the consulate, we will then be able to officially send our dossier to China. The big important step after that is to get our logged-in date from China. Once we receive our logged-in date, we are officially paperwork-pregnant. Our "pregnancy" will last nearly 10 months . Then we will travel two months after that to get our baby(ies).
In the meantime, we've been keeping ourselves busy picking names, researching furniture and having panic attacks. For those of you who haven't been to a Babies R Us... DON'T GO! It's crazy, overwhelming, and, quite frankly, INSANE!
We have also been invited to start a local chapter of Families with Children from China (FCC). We went to our first meeting this past Thursday. It was pretty neat. Although not too much work was done, we did get to meet a lot of people. We really bonded with two other couples (Mellissa and Steve and Vince and Dani) that are in our age range. Vince and Dani should receive their match from China this week or next. Mellissa and Steve had a logged-in date of July 19, 2005. So they should receive their match sometime in May. It was quite funny because the six of us were the last ones to leave and we kept talking until we got into our respective car.
HINT: Mellissa and Steve's parents are paying for them to fly first-class to Hong Kong.
Naturally, I will be on the marketing/P.R./Web site committee and Jennifer is on the education committee. It's pretty neat. We decided this group will offer bus trips to Chicago for various Chinese attractions, Chinatown, etc. There are also famous Chinese adoption authors available to do a book signings in our area and just social events with our newfound family -- Easter egg hunt, picnics, Chinese New Year celebration. It's cool.
[PAY FOR KEVIN AND JENN TO FLY TO CHINA FIRST CLASS]
Our friends, Will and Amy, will be traveling to Hong Kong Tuesday to pick up Allison. We are very excited to read about their travels through their blog. If you remember we both work with Will at the paper. They are so excited and Allison is a beautiful girl.
[PAY FOR KEVIN AND JENN TO FLY TO CHINA FIRST CLASS]
Through the advice of several Chinese adoptive parents, we bought a couple of books. One is about the Chinese culture, events, holidays, etc. And others are children's books about why they're adopted, etc. For a Chinese celebration example: on the eve of the Chinese New Year, kids receive 'lucky money' envelopes, which are red. In the envelope the money has to be even dollar amounts, but not four -- I guess that number is bad luck. But double fours ($8) is good luck. These envelopes are put under their pillows to receive on the new year. Additionally for first day of the Chinese new year you cannot cook or clean -- something my mother adopted many years ago. No cleaning because you're wiping away the luck of the new year.
[PAY FOR KEVIN AND JENN TO FLY TO CHINA FIRST CLASS]
We have also joined a 'Waiting Families Group' that meets the second Thursday of every month. Jennifer will have to go as I work on the Highland Chronicle on those same days. So I will be interested to hear about that group through our first meeting. Again, this is a social group that the other two couples we met take part in. I'm sure here we will meet other couples that are in the exact same place as we are.
[OKAY PAY FOR KEVIN TO FLY TO CHINA FIRST CLASS]
So, that's about it for now. It's just great to now know several people that are going through exactly what we are going through. I mean, these people who have adopted from China are, literally, coming out of the woodwork (as my grandmother would say). We have another family who is a principal at one of our local high schools that lives on the same street as we do who adopted through China. We work with three other families alone that have adopted through China. And there are acquaintances in Freeport that have adopted through China. It's just amazing the huge network we have here.
We will keep you posted as we know more.
Love... us
Not too much is new on our end. We have everything ready for our dossier except for our I-171H from Immigration. It's our understanding that someone was terminated due to some type of scandal -- yeah. Therefore, it's taking a little longer for us to get our form back. Two weeks ago, Tuesday, they were working on the week of Jan. 19. They received our home study on Jan. 26. So, we're hoping to get it this week. If we do not have it Monday evening, we will get our caseworker on it.
Speaking of caseworker, ours quit. Apparently I pushed her over the edge. Big surprise there! No, seriously, she got a different job where she won't have to commute. Thank God our home study was complete.
Once we get our form from Immigration, we will go to the Secretary of State's office in Chicago to have our Illinois forms certified. Once that's complete we will go to the Chinese Consulate's office and get all of our forms authenticated. When we receive our packet back from the consulate, we will then be able to officially send our dossier to China. The big important step after that is to get our logged-in date from China. Once we receive our logged-in date, we are officially paperwork-pregnant. Our "pregnancy" will last nearly 10 months . Then we will travel two months after that to get our baby(ies).
In the meantime, we've been keeping ourselves busy picking names, researching furniture and having panic attacks. For those of you who haven't been to a Babies R Us... DON'T GO! It's crazy, overwhelming, and, quite frankly, INSANE!
We have also been invited to start a local chapter of Families with Children from China (FCC). We went to our first meeting this past Thursday. It was pretty neat. Although not too much work was done, we did get to meet a lot of people. We really bonded with two other couples (Mellissa and Steve and Vince and Dani) that are in our age range. Vince and Dani should receive their match from China this week or next. Mellissa and Steve had a logged-in date of July 19, 2005. So they should receive their match sometime in May. It was quite funny because the six of us were the last ones to leave and we kept talking until we got into our respective car.
HINT: Mellissa and Steve's parents are paying for them to fly first-class to Hong Kong.
Naturally, I will be on the marketing/P.R./Web site committee and Jennifer is on the education committee. It's pretty neat. We decided this group will offer bus trips to Chicago for various Chinese attractions, Chinatown, etc. There are also famous Chinese adoption authors available to do a book signings in our area and just social events with our newfound family -- Easter egg hunt, picnics, Chinese New Year celebration. It's cool.
[PAY FOR KEVIN AND JENN TO FLY TO CHINA FIRST CLASS]
Our friends, Will and Amy, will be traveling to Hong Kong Tuesday to pick up Allison. We are very excited to read about their travels through their blog. If you remember we both work with Will at the paper. They are so excited and Allison is a beautiful girl.
[PAY FOR KEVIN AND JENN TO FLY TO CHINA FIRST CLASS]
Through the advice of several Chinese adoptive parents, we bought a couple of books. One is about the Chinese culture, events, holidays, etc. And others are children's books about why they're adopted, etc. For a Chinese celebration example: on the eve of the Chinese New Year, kids receive 'lucky money' envelopes, which are red. In the envelope the money has to be even dollar amounts, but not four -- I guess that number is bad luck. But double fours ($8) is good luck. These envelopes are put under their pillows to receive on the new year. Additionally for first day of the Chinese new year you cannot cook or clean -- something my mother adopted many years ago. No cleaning because you're wiping away the luck of the new year.
[PAY FOR KEVIN AND JENN TO FLY TO CHINA FIRST CLASS]
We have also joined a 'Waiting Families Group' that meets the second Thursday of every month. Jennifer will have to go as I work on the Highland Chronicle on those same days. So I will be interested to hear about that group through our first meeting. Again, this is a social group that the other two couples we met take part in. I'm sure here we will meet other couples that are in the exact same place as we are.
[OKAY PAY FOR KEVIN TO FLY TO CHINA FIRST CLASS]
So, that's about it for now. It's just great to now know several people that are going through exactly what we are going through. I mean, these people who have adopted from China are, literally, coming out of the woodwork (as my grandmother would say). We have another family who is a principal at one of our local high schools that lives on the same street as we do who adopted through China. We work with three other families alone that have adopted through China. And there are acquaintances in Freeport that have adopted through China. It's just amazing the huge network we have here.
We will keep you posted as we know more.
Love... us
The paper chase...
Originally written February 12, 2006
hellooooooooo...
We've got another update...
Saturday we spent the day in Naperville, IL getting fingerprinted for Immigration. This is our third AND FINAL set of fingerprints. It started out with a very angry young woman that works at Immigration. At one point she literally said to us... "all you adoption people have been extremely rude all day long. And, it's your choice to go through this." Well, isn't that special? This was after she thanked us for being nice. Hard for me to bite my tongue...
So, Jennifer went first and was cleared right away. Everything scanned perfectly. Oh, did I mention fingerprints are computerized now? Then it was my turn. Well, apparently I don't have scannable fingertips. After about 30 minutes of them trying to scan my fingers, they asked me to do the old fashioned ink and paper prints. This way they would submit both my scans and my inks. I finally chalked it up to the fact that I work too hard and have worn my fingers to the bone. But as Jennifer says "all you do all day is surf the Internet." WHATEVER!
Then we went shopping. Naperville has great shopping.
Today, we had our final meeting before submitting our dossier. We have everything ready for our dossier -- with the exception of the results from the Immigration scans. Those scans will provide us the I-171H document that needs to be included for China. Basically, what this document tells you is that our fingerprints match our home study.
We did find out today that our birth certificates and our marriage license need to be certified by the State of origin. Which means, we have to send all three to Indianapolis for them to prove that they are real documents. Not too difficult, right? Just wait. I found out from the State of Indiana today, they will not accept our birth certificates because they were done at the County level. Therefore, I had to order two more copies of our birth certificates through VitalChek.com. We paid $56 in shipping for $28 worth of documentation. For those of you already thinking ahead, you're right. What about our marriage license? Well, they WILL accept that from the County level. Oh, and get this... we had to turn in our County birth certificates to get our County marriage license. We spell bureaucracy as B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T!
So where do you go from here?
Well, I'm glad you asked.
After we receive the certified documents from the State of Indiana and our I-171H from Immigration, we will go to Chicago to have the rest of our documents certified by the State of Illinois. After we leave the State of Illinois Secretary of State's office, we will -- literally -- walk to the Chinese Consulate (on State St, near Marshall Fields-- yeah!) and have them authenticate the documents. This costs $30 per document and they will authenticate while we shop. I mean, wait. At that point, we will turn our thrice-authenicated-copies of our dossier into our agency, who will then submit it to China.
Okay, as you have already figured out, we are now into March. Jennifer and I have already planned to take Monday, March 13 and/or Monday, March 20, 2006 off to go into Chicago to have this done. We are hoping to get everything authenticated on one of those two days.
I do have to tell you that this guy we work with, Will, is also going through Lifelink and the China program. Their dossier acceptance date was May 15, 2005. They received their match two weeks ago and she is precious. They have named her Allison and will travel in four to six weeks from now. I have to tell you that when Will showed me Allison's photos, it was amazing. She looked very happy. The quality of the photos were good -- I guess I was expecting to see a black-and-white xeroxed copy -- and only one. They received four different photos in color and all were very clear. She is a beautiful, healthy little girl. There was one picture of her sitting outside in a walker. Not to get too weird, but it was very emotional.
As of today, we have paid 30% of our fees. So, we are now accepting donations...
Love... us.
hellooooooooo...
We've got another update...
Saturday we spent the day in Naperville, IL getting fingerprinted for Immigration. This is our third AND FINAL set of fingerprints. It started out with a very angry young woman that works at Immigration. At one point she literally said to us... "all you adoption people have been extremely rude all day long. And, it's your choice to go through this." Well, isn't that special? This was after she thanked us for being nice. Hard for me to bite my tongue...
So, Jennifer went first and was cleared right away. Everything scanned perfectly. Oh, did I mention fingerprints are computerized now? Then it was my turn. Well, apparently I don't have scannable fingertips. After about 30 minutes of them trying to scan my fingers, they asked me to do the old fashioned ink and paper prints. This way they would submit both my scans and my inks. I finally chalked it up to the fact that I work too hard and have worn my fingers to the bone. But as Jennifer says "all you do all day is surf the Internet." WHATEVER!
Then we went shopping. Naperville has great shopping.
Today, we had our final meeting before submitting our dossier. We have everything ready for our dossier -- with the exception of the results from the Immigration scans. Those scans will provide us the I-171H document that needs to be included for China. Basically, what this document tells you is that our fingerprints match our home study.
We did find out today that our birth certificates and our marriage license need to be certified by the State of origin. Which means, we have to send all three to Indianapolis for them to prove that they are real documents. Not too difficult, right? Just wait. I found out from the State of Indiana today, they will not accept our birth certificates because they were done at the County level. Therefore, I had to order two more copies of our birth certificates through VitalChek.com. We paid $56 in shipping for $28 worth of documentation. For those of you already thinking ahead, you're right. What about our marriage license? Well, they WILL accept that from the County level. Oh, and get this... we had to turn in our County birth certificates to get our County marriage license. We spell bureaucracy as B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T!
So where do you go from here?
Well, I'm glad you asked.
After we receive the certified documents from the State of Indiana and our I-171H from Immigration, we will go to Chicago to have the rest of our documents certified by the State of Illinois. After we leave the State of Illinois Secretary of State's office, we will -- literally -- walk to the Chinese Consulate (on State St, near Marshall Fields-- yeah!) and have them authenticate the documents. This costs $30 per document and they will authenticate while we shop. I mean, wait. At that point, we will turn our thrice-authenicated-copies of our dossier into our agency, who will then submit it to China.
Okay, as you have already figured out, we are now into March. Jennifer and I have already planned to take Monday, March 13 and/or Monday, March 20, 2006 off to go into Chicago to have this done. We are hoping to get everything authenticated on one of those two days.
I do have to tell you that this guy we work with, Will, is also going through Lifelink and the China program. Their dossier acceptance date was May 15, 2005. They received their match two weeks ago and she is precious. They have named her Allison and will travel in four to six weeks from now. I have to tell you that when Will showed me Allison's photos, it was amazing. She looked very happy. The quality of the photos were good -- I guess I was expecting to see a black-and-white xeroxed copy -- and only one. They received four different photos in color and all were very clear. She is a beautiful, healthy little girl. There was one picture of her sitting outside in a walker. Not to get too weird, but it was very emotional.
As of today, we have paid 30% of our fees. So, we are now accepting donations...
Love... us.
The final frontier...
Originally written December 15, 2005
Today was our final meeting for the home study, and... we were approved. Which is code that our check cleared.
Seriously though, we had to give her a tour of our home so that we "offered a safe place for our child(ren) to live."
Michelle also walked us through the State ofIllinois
2 -- or something like that. We had to agree that we would take them to the doctor for regular checkups, etc. Very obvious stuff, but yet it's just amazing stuff that we have to go through.
Although we agreed to these things, we didn't even have to sign the 20-pg document. It was all checkmarks and then the caseworker and her powers that be signed the document. Very strange.
So, where do we go from here? We are submitting our last request for fingerprints through Immigration / Dept. of Homeland Security tomorrow. It will cost us $685 to get an "invitation for prints." This is the "pre-approval" to bringing our daughter(s) home. Once we receive the "invitation
for prints" there will be a date on there that we have to get our final set of prints -- which, we'll probably have to go toNaperville
We will not meet with our caseworker until after the holidays -- probably the second week of January. At this time, we will go through our dossier to make sure that everything is correct and complete. Hopefully, we will then be able to submit our dossier toChina
NOTE: for those of you that are our references, the agency's secretary never sent out the forms. They should have gone out today or tomorrow. So you should expect them by sometime next week -- just in time for the holidays. Please make sure you get them filled out and returned as soon as possible.
Until January 2006, happy holidays.
Today was our final meeting for the home study, and... we were approved. Which is code that our check cleared.
Seriously though, we had to give her a tour of our home so that we "offered a safe place for our child(ren) to live."
Michelle also walked us through the State of
- "We will provide our child a mattress that has springs and is level, clean and suitable for a child to sleep on."
- "We will provide our child three meals a day and will not be more than 14 hours a part."
- "We will not feed our child from our own food source unless it's FDA approved" -- which means we can't have our own livestock and feed them the meat on our own -- or eggs or whatever you please.
- "We can't offer a boarding house." Which means neither set of parents will be moving in with us.
2 -- or something like that. We had to agree that we would take them to the doctor for regular checkups, etc. Very obvious stuff, but yet it's just amazing stuff that we have to go through.
Although we agreed to these things, we didn't even have to sign the 20-pg document. It was all checkmarks and then the caseworker and her powers that be signed the document. Very strange.
So, where do we go from here? We are submitting our last request for fingerprints through Immigration / Dept. of Homeland Security tomorrow. It will cost us $685 to get an "invitation for prints." This is the "pre-approval" to bringing our daughter(s) home. Once we receive the "invitation
for prints" there will be a date on there that we have to get our final set of prints -- which, we'll probably have to go to
We will not meet with our caseworker until after the holidays -- probably the second week of January. At this time, we will go through our dossier to make sure that everything is correct and complete. Hopefully, we will then be able to submit our dossier to
NOTE: for those of you that are our references, the agency's secretary never sent out the forms. They should have gone out today or tomorrow. So you should expect them by sometime next week -- just in time for the holidays. Please make sure you get them filled out and returned as soon as possible.
Until January 2006, happy holidays.
It's all about us...
Originally written December 5, 2005
Well, today was our latest meeting with our caseworker, Michelle.
If you remember, today's meetings were individually.
So, I was first up. When we sat at the dining room table, the first question out of her mouth was "Kevin, let's talk about you. Who is Kevin McFatridge?" Ahhhh, my favorite subject.
So, she asked me how I was as a child: "an opinionated brat," I said. She asked what my parents were like. I said, "wonderful... to my brother." Seriously, I said "I was a spoiled brat. I wanted for nothing." Although I did bring up my baby book and how the only thing that was filled out was my name. My grandmother had to fill the rest of it. I told her that the hair that I had in my baby book was actually my dog's. But, my mother convinced me it was mine. I didn't know you were born with gray hair???
She asked a lot about my sperm donor (biological father) and a lot about my stepfather. She asked a lot about high school and what I was like. She asked about college. I gave her this look like, "I went to college?" Oh yeah, that was my year-long party, according to Larry. We spent a lot of time on religion. Oh, my absolute favorite subject. My response, of course, was "I think you can be spiritual without having to go to church every Sunday" -- organized religion is not for me. She also asked a lot about the golden child -- Mark. I told her that although he hated me when we were kids, he finally saw the light. Especially after Ryan and Emily were born.
She asked what I liked to do as a kid. How do I answer "I knew every episode of The Brady Bunch and The Golden Girls and Three's Company and Facts of Life and The Love Boat and many many more? Well, it wasn't easy. I had to dance around that one very delicately. But it ended up working out. "I like to work in the yard" [because my parents forced me to.] "I'm very good at scraping car windows" [because that's how I got my ride to school from the golden child -- my brother.] Skills, everybody needs them.
Enough about me, on to Jenn...
She answered every question.
That's about it.
No, seriously, she asked her a lot of the same questions, but spent a great deal on her family -- ie: her parents. She asked her how the separation of her parents has impacted her as an adult and what she has learned from it.
Talked about how Jennifer is a natural nurturer. That's who she is and always has been. Talked a lot about friendships and "how you don't have to have a lot of friends to be somebody. It's the ones that mean the most" to her "are the ones she works hard at maintaining." The friends that she can count on one hand are the ones she would do anything for -- and you know who you are.
She asked Jenn what are our plans for child care. And, at this point, it would be daycare. Although, who knows what will happen once that precious child is in our care???
Jenn had to describe herself as a child and her answer was "I followed the rules." Good God is that not the freaking truth. It's still amazing to me that we found each other: the rule breaker and the rule follower.
Lastly, we each had to give adjectives that described ourselves. Jenn's: loyal, disciplined, truthful, honest, and generous. Kevin's: creative, fun, responsible, trustworthy, and non-judgmental.
Our next visit is next Thursday, December 15, 2005. This is the last visit for our home study. We will be giving her a tour of our home so she can make sure it's "a safe place for a child to live."
It's still amazing the amount of paperwork that we had to do. For example, we've been fingerprinted for the second time -- because the stupid FBI, DCFS and Immigration can't communicate with each other -- where are our taxes going anyway? We got our employer letters that says we are in good standing with the company. And our criminal background check was done -- thank God, we passed.
Finally, on Monday we have our physicals to do. The doctor has to fill out three different forms for the three different agencies: Lifelink, DCFS and China. CRAZY!
For those of you that are references, you should have received forms. Please get those filled out ASAP and back. Oh, and be nice. Lie if you have to.
That's it. Sorry for the long email, but we really want you a part of our process. It's an amazing journey, and as our friend, Ann puts it "2006 is going to be an amazing year."
Peace
Well, today was our latest meeting with our caseworker, Michelle.
If you remember, today's meetings were individually.
So, I was first up. When we sat at the dining room table, the first question out of her mouth was "Kevin, let's talk about you. Who is Kevin McFatridge?" Ahhhh, my favorite subject.
So, she asked me how I was as a child: "an opinionated brat," I said. She asked what my parents were like. I said, "wonderful... to my brother." Seriously, I said "I was a spoiled brat. I wanted for nothing." Although I did bring up my baby book and how the only thing that was filled out was my name. My grandmother had to fill the rest of it. I told her that the hair that I had in my baby book was actually my dog's. But, my mother convinced me it was mine. I didn't know you were born with gray hair???
She asked a lot about my sperm donor (biological father) and a lot about my stepfather. She asked a lot about high school and what I was like. She asked about college. I gave her this look like, "I went to college?" Oh yeah, that was my year-long party, according to Larry. We spent a lot of time on religion. Oh, my absolute favorite subject. My response, of course, was "I think you can be spiritual without having to go to church every Sunday" -- organized religion is not for me. She also asked a lot about the golden child -- Mark. I told her that although he hated me when we were kids, he finally saw the light. Especially after Ryan and Emily were born.
She asked what I liked to do as a kid. How do I answer "I knew every episode of The Brady Bunch and The Golden Girls and Three's Company and Facts of Life and The Love Boat and many many more? Well, it wasn't easy. I had to dance around that one very delicately. But it ended up working out. "I like to work in the yard" [because my parents forced me to.] "I'm very good at scraping car windows" [because that's how I got my ride to school from the golden child -- my brother.] Skills, everybody needs them.
Enough about me, on to Jenn...
She answered every question.
That's about it.
No, seriously, she asked her a lot of the same questions, but spent a great deal on her family -- ie: her parents. She asked her how the separation of her parents has impacted her as an adult and what she has learned from it.
Talked about how Jennifer is a natural nurturer. That's who she is and always has been. Talked a lot about friendships and "how you don't have to have a lot of friends to be somebody. It's the ones that mean the most" to her "are the ones she works hard at maintaining." The friends that she can count on one hand are the ones she would do anything for -- and you know who you are.
She asked Jenn what are our plans for child care. And, at this point, it would be daycare. Although, who knows what will happen once that precious child is in our care???
Jenn had to describe herself as a child and her answer was "I followed the rules." Good God is that not the freaking truth. It's still amazing to me that we found each other: the rule breaker and the rule follower.
Lastly, we each had to give adjectives that described ourselves. Jenn's: loyal, disciplined, truthful, honest, and generous. Kevin's: creative, fun, responsible, trustworthy, and non-judgmental.
Our next visit is next Thursday, December 15, 2005. This is the last visit for our home study. We will be giving her a tour of our home so she can make sure it's "a safe place for a child to live."
It's still amazing the amount of paperwork that we had to do. For example, we've been fingerprinted for the second time -- because the stupid FBI, DCFS and Immigration can't communicate with each other -- where are our taxes going anyway? We got our employer letters that says we are in good standing with the company. And our criminal background check was done -- thank God, we passed.
Finally, on Monday we have our physicals to do. The doctor has to fill out three different forms for the three different agencies: Lifelink, DCFS and China. CRAZY!
For those of you that are references, you should have received forms. Please get those filled out ASAP and back. Oh, and be nice. Lie if you have to.
That's it. Sorry for the long email, but we really want you a part of our process. It's an amazing journey, and as our friend, Ann puts it "2006 is going to be an amazing year."
Peace
So, here goes...
Originally written November 21, 2005
A lot of you have emailed us asking to be kept in the loop of our adoption process. We believe that this is as good for us as it is for you – to document.
We had our second meeting (interview) today with our social worker,Michelle. This is the first phase of preparing our home study. Jennifer and I were interviewed together. Questions like: "how did you meet?", "why did you get married?" and "why do you think you would be good parents?" were the topic.
It's strange to answer these questions as it's often feelings and questions that we all tend to take advantage.
We had some very good dialogue with her that included what we want our child to learn from us -- what are our top goals for her to learn with us as parents.
Interesting dialogue. I don't want to go into detail as it'll often bore some of you, but also because it's personal between Jennifer and I -- oh and our caseworker.
But, we have turned in most of our paperwork. We are still waiting for our employers letters saying we're in good standing and all that stuff.
We've been fingerprinted once for the FBI -- that was interesting considering we were arguing with two women that were "off the clock" at 7:59 p.m. when their shift ended at 8 p.m. and all they had to do was write us a receipt for $20.
I think we argued for more than 10 minutes -- well enough time for them to write a receipt five times. But it ended on a high note when the Police Chief called our house to apologize for their behavior. So they got their due!
We have two more fingerprints to do -- one for DCFS and one for immigration. We won't do the immigration one for about a month or so. Our next meeting is set for December 5, 2005 -- Monday. We will meet separately with Michelle to talk about our parents and how we were raised and our childhood.
I'm sure I'll be there for a very long time on the topic of my mother. I've got a million stories -- like the one I like to share about how my mom cooked twice a week -- our big Sunday night dinner and then leftovers on Monday. Then we ate at the Little League park the rest of the week. Or how about the one when she used to make me buy her Merit cigarettes for her at the Sunoco Station on US24.
Too funny!
A lot of you have emailed us asking to be kept in the loop of our adoption process. We believe that this is as good for us as it is for you – to document.
We had our second meeting (interview) today with our social worker,Michelle. This is the first phase of preparing our home study. Jennifer and I were interviewed together. Questions like: "how did you meet?", "why did you get married?" and "why do you think you would be good parents?" were the topic.
It's strange to answer these questions as it's often feelings and questions that we all tend to take advantage.
We had some very good dialogue with her that included what we want our child to learn from us -- what are our top goals for her to learn with us as parents.
Interesting dialogue. I don't want to go into detail as it'll often bore some of you, but also because it's personal between Jennifer and I -- oh and our caseworker.
But, we have turned in most of our paperwork. We are still waiting for our employers letters saying we're in good standing and all that stuff.
We've been fingerprinted once for the FBI -- that was interesting considering we were arguing with two women that were "off the clock" at 7:59 p.m. when their shift ended at 8 p.m. and all they had to do was write us a receipt for $20.
I think we argued for more than 10 minutes -- well enough time for them to write a receipt five times. But it ended on a high note when the Police Chief called our house to apologize for their behavior. So they got their due!
We have two more fingerprints to do -- one for DCFS and one for immigration. We won't do the immigration one for about a month or so. Our next meeting is set for December 5, 2005 -- Monday. We will meet separately with Michelle to talk about our parents and how we were raised and our childhood.
I'm sure I'll be there for a very long time on the topic of my mother. I've got a million stories -- like the one I like to share about how my mom cooked twice a week -- our big Sunday night dinner and then leftovers on Monday. Then we ate at the Little League park the rest of the week. Or how about the one when she used to make me buy her Merit cigarettes for her at the Sunoco Station on US24.
Too funny!
Taking the leap...
Originally written November 7, 2005
As many of you may know, we have begun the adoption process and have decided to go internationally through the China program. Our application has been submitted and today was our first meeting with our social worker. As you can imagine, there's a lot of bureaucracy. I think we have a ream of paper that we need to fill out -- literally. We have paperwork to fill out for our agency -- Lifelink -- DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) and, of course, for China. The amazing thing is we have more paperwork to fill out for our agency than we do for China. We also have to be fingerprinted three different times -- FBI, DCFS and China.
Our home study will officialy kick-off on Monday, November 21, 2005. This is the meeting where our social worker will begin interviewing us as a couple. Two weeks later, she will meet with Jenn and I separately, then two weeks after that, she'll take the "home tour." This is to make sure that we have a safe home to bring the child to as well as adequate space.
Once we have been approved as potential adoptive parents, we will begin work on our dossier. The dossier preparation is not overly difficult. It just takes time on receiving the information in order to submit -- fingerprint(s) analysis, etc.
We are anticipating our dossier to be submitted to China as early as January 2006, but more likely in February. Once that is complete, we should have a "match" about six months later. So, we should know who our child is around August 2006.
We will then begin organizing our travel arrangements for two months later October/November 2006. We will be in China for 10 days and will have to prepare a "photo board" of our family -- be it ourselves or including some of you. This "photo board" is to represent us and tell the story of who we are.
We will receive our child(ren) on either the second or third day of arriving in China. The child(ren) will be anywhere from 9-13 mos. old, and, will, of course, be female.
In the meantime, we will be networking other couples that are in the same stage as we are. And, more than likely, will be traveling with them next October/November to China.
In the Spring, we will be taking "parenting classes" that is a requirement. These are two sessions on parenting.
We will be requesting twins, but because twins do not run in the Asian culture, we will probably adopt one girl. But who knows, there have been a few times in the past that couples have brought home twins and even triplets. We'll see...
For those of you we asked to be our references (non-family), you will be contacted by the agency to find out how we are/who we are/what we'relike/etc. Now, be nice!
I think that's it for now. It's going to be a fun, strange, and often times stressful journey for us. We ask that you be supportive and enthusiastic for us during this crazy year. I'm sure it will fly by.
Much love.
As many of you may know, we have begun the adoption process and have decided to go internationally through the China program. Our application has been submitted and today was our first meeting with our social worker. As you can imagine, there's a lot of bureaucracy. I think we have a ream of paper that we need to fill out -- literally. We have paperwork to fill out for our agency -- Lifelink -- DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) and, of course, for China. The amazing thing is we have more paperwork to fill out for our agency than we do for China. We also have to be fingerprinted three different times -- FBI, DCFS and China.
Our home study will officialy kick-off on Monday, November 21, 2005. This is the meeting where our social worker will begin interviewing us as a couple. Two weeks later, she will meet with Jenn and I separately, then two weeks after that, she'll take the "home tour." This is to make sure that we have a safe home to bring the child to as well as adequate space.
Once we have been approved as potential adoptive parents, we will begin work on our dossier. The dossier preparation is not overly difficult. It just takes time on receiving the information in order to submit -- fingerprint(s) analysis, etc.
We are anticipating our dossier to be submitted to China as early as January 2006, but more likely in February. Once that is complete, we should have a "match" about six months later. So, we should know who our child is around August 2006.
We will then begin organizing our travel arrangements for two months later October/November 2006. We will be in China for 10 days and will have to prepare a "photo board" of our family -- be it ourselves or including some of you. This "photo board" is to represent us and tell the story of who we are.
We will receive our child(ren) on either the second or third day of arriving in China. The child(ren) will be anywhere from 9-13 mos. old, and, will, of course, be female.
In the meantime, we will be networking other couples that are in the same stage as we are. And, more than likely, will be traveling with them next October/November to China.
In the Spring, we will be taking "parenting classes" that is a requirement. These are two sessions on parenting.
We will be requesting twins, but because twins do not run in the Asian culture, we will probably adopt one girl. But who knows, there have been a few times in the past that couples have brought home twins and even triplets. We'll see...
For those of you we asked to be our references (non-family), you will be contacted by the agency to find out how we are/who we are/what we'relike/etc. Now, be nice!
I think that's it for now. It's going to be a fun, strange, and often times stressful journey for us. We ask that you be supportive and enthusiastic for us during this crazy year. I'm sure it will fly by.
Much love.
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