We got in a line for adoption with China. That line at the time was expected to be six to eight months long. The line a year ago was updated to be 17 months long. Today that line is 27 months long and growing with each passing month.
One year ago today this is what we knew
1. We had no idea when we would get our referral
2. We had no idea when we would travel (see number one)
3. The name
4. Anticipating our first Christmas as a family
5. We would see the Talleckson's and Ventura's with their daughters
6. Katelyn Ventura is a ham
7. We were in the chat rooms thanks to Mellissa and we were angry
8. We attended a parent training class
9. The wait was getting tremendously longer and we were getting angry
10. The Talleckson's brought Sofia home and she is a sweet little girl
This is what we know today
1. Referral and travel dates are still a mystery
2. We are part of a Lansing area waiting families group, one of the couples in our group should be receiving a referral with the next batch, they missed the cut-off by one day, so they are definitely next.
3. The name
4. Christmas as a family of three seems far far away
5. We see the Talleckson's and Ventura's every now and then with the girls. The Ventura's are adding a second daughter to their family this spring. They are adopting a special needs child from China. Vince will be heading to China again to meet their daughter and bring her home.
6. Our file is somewhere between Chicago and Detroit, we hope.
7. We will have to be fingerprinted for the third time this summer for the Department of Homeland Security because, you know, they change...WHATEVER!
8. As of today, there are 104 days ahead of us in line.
9. Our placing agency received referrals last month for 4 families, three of the four were referred a boy...which gives us something new to think about.
10. We are the only home on our block that does not have a child.
Some things that we have done or have happened in the past year:
We finished remodeling our Rockford home, only to put it on the market 60 days later
We lived in separate states for 5 months
We have celebrated 13 years of marriage
We have sold our home in Rockford (one of the lucky ones)
We bought a home in DeWitt, (the land of plenty, wanting for more)
We shoveled our way out of a long Michigan winter (we hope its true that this was unusual)
Attended two MSU games, one football, one basketball.
Attended theatre performances at MSU
Attended the East Lansing Film Festival
Jenn was promoted to Accounting Manager and is supervising people from home
Jenn is taking golf lessons
Kevin has been working a lot, getting things situated
Not much else has been happening, which is why we haven't been updating this site as often as we were in the past.
We can't believe it has been two years already. With an average of 7 days of referrals each month, we can only expect to wait another 14 months from now for referral. We hope it gets better, but it doesn't look promising.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
"China Ghosts"
One of my favorite things about moving to a new area is meeting new people, neighbors and friends.
Of course when you're meeting these folks, the interview process always begins... where are you from; why did you move here; what do you do; and, then the question always arises... do you have any children.
Depending on my mood, I'll answer one of two ways: "not yet" or "we're currently in the process of adoption." If I answer the latter, then one of two directions will always ensue, either questions like... from where? boy or girl? how old will they be? how long until you get your child?; or, they'll begin a story about a friend or acquaintance they knew that adopted.
Toward the end of the conversation something always happens that typically irritates the living crap out of me. Folks always go down the road of... that's a noble thing you do; or, I've always respected adoptive parents.
I'm not 100% sure why that always irritates me, but I think it probably has something to do with how selfish we, adoptive parents, are. I mean... we're the ones that want a child; we're the ones that are taking the child out of their own habitat; we're the ones that are fulfilling our dream.
In fact, it's the children that are the brave. I just can't imagine being forcibly removed from the only life I've ever known. These children are the ones that are leaving the only country, culture, smells, etc... all by force. All because of selfishness.
I suppose one could say that we will be providing a better life for the children. I get that. I've heard and read stories about adoptive parents in China receiving their children and the public will walk up and pinch the baby's nose and say "lucky baby, lucky baby." I guess I just hope they respect their Chinese heritage and culture as well as their American heritage and culture. I don't ever want our child to be insensitive to China nor its way-of-life.
For those of you in the adoption community, you've probably guessed that I'm in the middle of reading a wonderful book titled "China Ghosts." It's written by Jeff Gammage, an adoptive father of two Chinese girls; and it is written from the father's point-of-view. This book shares the exact feelings I have about this entire parental process... from not wanting children, originally, to falling in love with a child I've never met nor seen to something I have yet to experience.
I'm finding myself wanting to share this book with everyone that asks questions about this process. It's that good; and, I'm only half-way through it.
*****
We don't know any more news about the wait; other than the latest rumors, which seem to include 12/22/06 LIDs.
We are meeting with our post-placement caseworker on Tuesday to get the ball rolling on moving our file from the Chicago USCIS (United State Citizenship and Immigration Services) to Detroits. This typically takes about two months to complete. We've heard that the Detroit office is the worst in the country to move a file to/from. We're holding out for a positive experience.
*****
Jennifer had two of her wisdom teeth pulled last Thursday. She's doing surprisingly well.
*****
We're sick of the snow!
Of course when you're meeting these folks, the interview process always begins... where are you from; why did you move here; what do you do; and, then the question always arises... do you have any children.
Depending on my mood, I'll answer one of two ways: "not yet" or "we're currently in the process of adoption." If I answer the latter, then one of two directions will always ensue, either questions like... from where? boy or girl? how old will they be? how long until you get your child?; or, they'll begin a story about a friend or acquaintance they knew that adopted.
Toward the end of the conversation something always happens that typically irritates the living crap out of me. Folks always go down the road of... that's a noble thing you do; or, I've always respected adoptive parents.
I'm not 100% sure why that always irritates me, but I think it probably has something to do with how selfish we, adoptive parents, are. I mean... we're the ones that want a child; we're the ones that are taking the child out of their own habitat; we're the ones that are fulfilling our dream.
In fact, it's the children that are the brave. I just can't imagine being forcibly removed from the only life I've ever known. These children are the ones that are leaving the only country, culture, smells, etc... all by force. All because of selfishness.
I suppose one could say that we will be providing a better life for the children. I get that. I've heard and read stories about adoptive parents in China receiving their children and the public will walk up and pinch the baby's nose and say "lucky baby, lucky baby." I guess I just hope they respect their Chinese heritage and culture as well as their American heritage and culture. I don't ever want our child to be insensitive to China nor its way-of-life.
For those of you in the adoption community, you've probably guessed that I'm in the middle of reading a wonderful book titled "China Ghosts." It's written by Jeff Gammage, an adoptive father of two Chinese girls; and it is written from the father's point-of-view. This book shares the exact feelings I have about this entire parental process... from not wanting children, originally, to falling in love with a child I've never met nor seen to something I have yet to experience.
I'm finding myself wanting to share this book with everyone that asks questions about this process. It's that good; and, I'm only half-way through it.
*****
We don't know any more news about the wait; other than the latest rumors, which seem to include 12/22/06 LIDs.
We are meeting with our post-placement caseworker on Tuesday to get the ball rolling on moving our file from the Chicago USCIS (United State Citizenship and Immigration Services) to Detroits. This typically takes about two months to complete. We've heard that the Detroit office is the worst in the country to move a file to/from. We're holding out for a positive experience.
*****
Jennifer had two of her wisdom teeth pulled last Thursday. She's doing surprisingly well.
*****
We're sick of the snow!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Happy Christmas...
At this time every year, we sit back and reflect upon the previous year.
It seems that this has been a busy one for both of us....
Today, on this Christmas Eve, we realize it's our 20 month anniversary of our LID. We both feel blessed; however, it is hard to go through these holidays without our child. We know there will be a happy ending, but getting to that point is not always clear, easy, or fun. It is hard to even guess when our referral will come to us. Some think it will be in the fall; some think it will be next winter; and, yet, some think it will be in the spring of 2009. We're, obviously, hoping for 2008. Our goal was to travel before the Olympics (8/8/08) and now, we will travel after.
The next steps for us in the adoption process is to meet with a local agency in Michigan. We have decided to partner with Adoption Advocates of, get this, Rockford, MI. They will be our post-placement agency; however, Lifelink will remain our placing agency. We have already made contact and will get the ball rolling after the holidays.
We are in love with our new home, here in Michigan. Here is a link to view the pictures. Mom, Larry, call me when you can't figure it out.
Here's wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and safe New Year.
Love,
Kevin & Jennifer
It seems that this has been a busy one for both of us....
- In December 2006, Jenn's father moved to Rockford with us.
- In January, Jenn started a new job with the Deluxe Johnson Group.
- In February, we were still thinking we would receive our referral in 2007.
- In April, we celebrated our one year anniversary of our LID.
- In April, our kitchen remodeling was finally completed.
- In May, the Rockford Register Star sold to GateHouse Media.
- In June, we put the house on the market and Kevin saw Gwen Stefani in concert.
- In June, we celebrated being out of review and realized we would not get our referral this year.
- In June, Jenn celebrated her 37th birthday.
- In June, Kevin started a new job in Lansing, MI
- In July, Kevin went to BolognaFest in Yale, MI and truly became a Michigander.
- July and August were a blur.
- In September, Jenn's father went into the hospital and we realized then that he needed more care than we could provide.
- In September we received the only offer on our Rockford property in a rapidly declining housing market. WOO HOO
- In October, Jenn's dad made his permanent residence in a nursing home in Chicago.
- In October, we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary... apart.
- In October, the movers packed up our house.
- In November, we closed on the Rockford property and on our new home in DeWitt, MI.
- In November, we went to the MSU vs. UM football game. Our first sporting event as Michiganders.
- In December, we went to the MSU vs. NC State basketball game. Our second sporting event as Michiganders. NOTE: Kevin has been to more sports games this year than in the previous 10 years.
- In December, Kevin celebrated his 36th birthday.
Today, on this Christmas Eve, we realize it's our 20 month anniversary of our LID. We both feel blessed; however, it is hard to go through these holidays without our child. We know there will be a happy ending, but getting to that point is not always clear, easy, or fun. It is hard to even guess when our referral will come to us. Some think it will be in the fall; some think it will be next winter; and, yet, some think it will be in the spring of 2009. We're, obviously, hoping for 2008. Our goal was to travel before the Olympics (8/8/08) and now, we will travel after.
The next steps for us in the adoption process is to meet with a local agency in Michigan. We have decided to partner with Adoption Advocates of, get this, Rockford, MI. They will be our post-placement agency; however, Lifelink will remain our placing agency. We have already made contact and will get the ball rolling after the holidays.
We are in love with our new home, here in Michigan. Here is a link to view the pictures. Mom, Larry, call me when you can't figure it out.
Here's wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and safe New Year.
Love,
Kevin & Jennifer
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Greetings from DeWitt, MI
After four days, we are settled in our new home, sort of. We have unpacked all of the boxes and need to hang pictures, photos, etc. That's it. Then we're done! So far, we love the house. As soon as the rooms are set, we'll take photos and upload them onto the blog.
====================
Our hearts go out to the Sheldon family. If you haven't heard, Sandi and Dennis went to China to meet their daughter, Hannah, and bring her home. While in China, Dennis passed away due to diabetes. It just so happens that we know the Sheldons as they are/were part of the waiting families group here in Lansing. For more on the story, click here.
====================
The latest round of matches took us through December 8, 2005. Our LID is April 24, 2006. Eight days is the most we've seen since March 5, 2007. So, hopefully, we'll see an increase in referrals over the next few months.
On the not-so-encouraging news, our adoption agency, Lifelink, met with CCAA directors and they said that China has opened up the purse strings on the one-child policy in the rural areas. Which means there are fewer children that are abandoned. They also said there is an increase in domestic adoptions within China. The China officials did not indicate there would be a speed up any time soon.
====================
Our hearts go out to the Sheldon family. If you haven't heard, Sandi and Dennis went to China to meet their daughter, Hannah, and bring her home. While in China, Dennis passed away due to diabetes. It just so happens that we know the Sheldons as they are/were part of the waiting families group here in Lansing. For more on the story, click here.
====================
The latest round of matches took us through December 8, 2005. Our LID is April 24, 2006. Eight days is the most we've seen since March 5, 2007. So, hopefully, we'll see an increase in referrals over the next few months.
On the not-so-encouraging news, our adoption agency, Lifelink, met with CCAA directors and they said that China has opened up the purse strings on the one-child policy in the rural areas. Which means there are fewer children that are abandoned. They also said there is an increase in domestic adoptions within China. The China officials did not indicate there would be a speed up any time soon.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Sparty on...
We officially closed on our Rockford, IL property at 10:30 a.m. Friday, November 2.
WOO HOO!
Jenn permanently joined me in Lansing as of 11 p.m. that evening.
On Saturday we went to the MSU vs. UM game at Spartan Stadium. We tailgated beginning at 11 a.m. and the game started at 3:30 p.m. It was a good time. We had pretty good seats, 13 rows from the field on the MSU end zone. Even though the Spartans lost, it was a pretty cool experience. Check out the photo gallery on greenandwhite.com.
Today we spent the day shopping for furniture for our new house... to no avail. We close in 10 days. We can't wait to get out of our apartment. The Cooley Law students screaming in the hallway at 2 a.m. is getting old! Or are we getting old?
That's it from Michigan. The weather is brisk but beautiful.
WOO HOO!
Jenn permanently joined me in Lansing as of 11 p.m. that evening.
On Saturday we went to the MSU vs. UM game at Spartan Stadium. We tailgated beginning at 11 a.m. and the game started at 3:30 p.m. It was a good time. We had pretty good seats, 13 rows from the field on the MSU end zone. Even though the Spartans lost, it was a pretty cool experience. Check out the photo gallery on greenandwhite.com.
Today we spent the day shopping for furniture for our new house... to no avail. We close in 10 days. We can't wait to get out of our apartment. The Cooley Law students screaming in the hallway at 2 a.m. is getting old! Or are we getting old?
That's it from Michigan. The weather is brisk but beautiful.
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